Security
by PerhapsPerhapsPerhaps
Summary: Ana Steele and Christian Grey cross paths as friends. When feelings grow it changes their destiny and sends their lives into a tailspin for better or worse.
1. Chapter 1

So I said I was NOT going to start another story but I guess I lied... because here is another story. It wouldn't leave my head and I had to get it out. This is going to be something different, a little lighter and more action and adventure. I hope you guys like it! Please follow and review.

XOXO PPP

* * *

I stand impassively outside my office and watch as an older man in saggy paint stained overalls carefully paints my name in silver gilding on the frosted glass panels that conceal my brand new office.

Anastasia Steele, CEO.

I'll admit that I get a small jolt every time my new moniker passes through my head. Not only am I one of the youngest CEO's in the country I am also the only female in my age bracket. I hear the whispers and the naysayers all chanting the same thing: Nepotism

I can understand why people feel that way, as an outsider looking in I might assume the same thing. My father is Raymond Steele Founder acting CEO and President of Steele Securities, the largest and most comprehensive private security company in the world. What people don't know is that I helped my father start this company when I was ten, the mustard seed idea came from me. By the time I turned fourteen I was planning large scale marketing campaigns between AP English and homeroom. I went to summer school on purpose to get gym credits out of the way so I could graduate at sixteen and I graduated second in my class from WSU-Vancouver, so small feat. Our valedictorian was Mia Grey, a child prodigy and a year younger then I was. She is also one of my closest friends.

My age, my face, my size and scale are looked upon as negatives, a determent to my ability to do business. I never saw it that way. While middle aged men with fat hanging over their four hundred dollar belts patted my head and rested their hairy knuckled hands on my thigh, I was taking over their companies and giving them the pink slip. To me being underestimated was my greatest asset in the fine art of corporate distraction.

So here I stand watching my name appear and I should be happy and excited, elated even but instead I feel hollow, and void of any real emotion. I have worked towards this goal for years, waiting for my father to have the faith in me and my abilities to put his beloved company on my hands. Here I am standing at the precipice and I feel nothing. Actually I feel nauseated; the toxic fumes from the paint are making me sick.

I turn away utterly disgusted and walk back to my old office two floors down.

Steele Securities is large compound in the rural outskirts of Seattle. My father bought the land for a song after the housing market crashed in 2008 and built a literal village on it. Our employees work long hard hours for exceptional pay and we keep them well fed and comfortable. It is a never ending project; we are always adding buildings and warehouses for equipment. A new government contract has opened us up to an entirely new world of intelligence development. We are in the process of adding a new building to house the interns we are amassing from the best schools around the country, tech nerds and programmers, former military and retired CIA, all coming together to form a think tank of sorts.

It's an exciting project which is what has drawn my father's gaze away from the everyday dealings of running SS and passing the baton on to me. As a former Navy Seal he is chomping at the bit to get in the "trenches" and "change the world as we know it". I have not seen him this excited since we started the company well over a decade ago and I'll admit it's really nice to have my old dad back. To see him happy and excited and full of anticipation, like a kid on Christmas morning. I may even be jealous, I can't remember the last time I felt that way about anything.

I sit behind my old wooden desk; it has been with me since I started working here summers and after school at the ripe old age of eleven. Back when we were in dusty old mouse infested warehouse right outside of Portland. I run my fingers over the worn wood, every nick every scratch tells a story. Tells my story and even though I have a shiny new desk arriving, this relic is coming home with me. I know just the spot.

"Miss Steele." My assistant's voice comes through the speaker phone.

"Yes Andrea?"

"I have Miss Kavanagh on line two for you." Kate Kavanagh, my friend and confidant. The Laverne to my Shirley, the Betty to my Veronica. She took me under her wing our freshman year, I was younger by a full two years but she said I had an old soul and from that moment forward we were friends. She was like the older sister I never had and I was grateful that fate smiled on destiny when we were randomly chosen to be roommates. She got me thought some very dark days and her faith and friendship never wavered. She is the reason I am alive and kicking.

"Yes please patch her through… Hello Katie-bell…"

"ANA! God I knew you were still going to be at the office! It is almost eight on a Friday funday get your scrawny ass and your sexy as fuck body guard over here ASAP!"

"And where is here exactly?" I can hear the mumbling crowd and the unrelenting bass of a techno song in the background. From the slight slur in Kate's voice I would say she has had two beers and a shot and I can also guarantee she has not paid for any of them. That is my Kate, like moths to the flame the men burn off their grubby little wings trying to bask in her light.

"Club Escalva… You know the place Mia's aunt just opened… Mia is here, and Jose is coming… Oh and do you remember…" I tune Kate out as she rambles on about someone we went to college with sometimes Kate just never shuts up. Club Escalva, the name puts me off, why in the world would anyone name their club slave, a female slave no less. Granted it sounds more seductive in Spanish but so does asshole, I don't see anyone naming their club _carbon_ anytime soon.

Elena Trevelyan – Lincoln has given me the creeps since the moment I met her five years ago. She oozes insincerity and elitism, the air of women who buys and sells things or people with ease and very little thought. There in not a single thing about her that is real: her hair, her nail her boobs, her teeth are all reproductions. Not to say she is ugly because unfortunately she is not. She is stunning even, groomed and buffed to a showroom shine. I have seen her a hand full of times at a few family functions over the years and she always looks at me like she is starving and I am the buffet.

I cannot image for the life of me how she and Mia's mother Grace share an ounce of DNA but they do the same eyes and smile, only Grace is an unaltered beauty. In fact I believe she is the human embodiment of Glenda the good witch (making Elena the Wicked Witch of the West, complete with flying monkeys). Grace is sweet and kind, honest and open. She brings a sense of peace everywhere she goes. I have been lucky enough to be in her presence over the years she has been an aspirational beacon for me, a level to work towards. Her charity work, alone has inspired me to start my own. Safe and Secure a shelter for battered women and children. Out of all the deals and plans I am working right now this is what I am most excited about. I am ripe with ideas and they keep me up nights.

"So are you coming or what?" Kate's voice finally brings me back to the conversation and I ponder briefly what I want to do. It's Friday night, and my last Friday of freedom before I take the reins and step into my role as CEO. I can't remember the last time I went out and let loose. A glass of wine and an hour of TV are usually how I spend my Fridays.

"Yes, I will be there is half an hour." She lets out a glass shattering squeal and I have to pull the phone away from my ear to preserve my hearing. She goes on for a few moments about how she loves me like a sister and hangs up the phone.

"Andrea…"

"Yes Miss Steele."

"Send Taylor up please."

"Yes Miss Steele."

* * *

I met Taylor for the first time when I was twelve. The company has just cleared its second million in profits and we had just gotten national attention because of a huge government contract we had secured. My father felt it would be a good time to employ some security and Jason Taylor came highly recommended by my father's military contacts.

To say I had a childhood crush on Taylor is a massive understatement. He was twenty eight when I met him, tall and lean. Sandy blonde hair and light eyes that changed color depending on what he was wearing. Black was his usual go to so his eyes hovered around an awe inspiring sky at dusk or the water of a lake in the mountains. He was a man of few words and showed even less emotion, he worked for us for two years before I knew he had an ex-wife and daughter six years younger than I was.

He taught me about opera and classical music when I was fourteen, sick of hearing the "nasal twangs of pre-pubescent pop stars" coming from my room. After much trial and error _Tristan und Isolde_ was my favorite, with _La Boheme_ coming in for a very close second. When I turned sixteen he showed me how to drive a car and took me for my road test. When I turned eighteen Taylor took me to the shooting range and schooled me in the way of the gun. My father had taken me over the years but it was Taylor who really made me an expert.

There is seldom a memory where Taylor isn't silently standing in the corner, his watchful eye keeping me safe. Over the years many of an attempt has been made to kidnap me. The appeal of kidnapping the daughter of the man who owns largest security company in the world too big of a draw I guess. I would assume the bragging rights would be worth the possible jail time. Some have gotten closer than others but Taylor and his men have always been able to keep me out of harm's way – for the most part anyway.

"Yes Miss Steele." He stands at ease in my doorway, the light shining behind him casting a long shadow on my pale marble floors. I stand up from behind my desk and sit at the edge crossing my arms against my chest.

"Really Taylor, you really insist on this Miss Steele thing?" I smile and shake my head, always so formal. It seems so unnecessary and out of place now.

"Yes… Miss…Steele." It is his rare attempt at humor and I indulge him with my laughter.

"There has been a change of plans for tonight I'm afraid." He brow furrows slightly, I know he hates change, preferring the ease of structure and routine but it can't be helped. "I am meeting Kate tonight at Club Escalva."

"Ab-so-lu-tly not. No Ana." His eyes flicker with anger for a moment and then return to his usual pokerfaced glare.

"Jason, yes. Don't argue with me about this. I want to go out tonight and enjoy myself. It all starts Monday, ready or not. So please let's not argue." He takes several slow steps towards me and smiles at me, no it's a smirk really and I feel this one lone butterfly fluttering in my belly.

"You could stay in and enjoy yourself Miss Steele." Before I can respond, his lips are on mine gently at first and then becoming more urgent as his arms tighten around my waist. I can't say for sure when the nature of our relationship changed all I can say is that it started slowly, very slowly. A small smile here, a private joke there. He would touch my shoulder, I would touch his forearm. It was about six months ago when we had the talk; you know the talk that two people have when they want one another but are in a horrible circumstance in life.

He felt that he was too old ( which he was) I was too innocent ( which I am), that he couldn't do his job as effectively if he had feelings for me ( but he already had the feeling so that point was moot). Then there was my father, who made all his men sign a no-fucking Ana clause. It literally says no-fucking in the contract. I would not have believed it had I not seen it for myself. Oddly we have been able to usurp that rule because we don't fuck, we don't have sex. We kiss and touch and pleasure one another but that is all. Taylor says he allows him to maintain his contracts with a "gray area" and if my father ever asks him out right if he is fucking me he can say no and mean it. He is loyal to a fault. But truth be told our arrangement works and for whatever the reason we work.

His strong hands wrap around my ass and pull me towards his body, I can smell his soap and shampoo, the faint hint of coffee and mint on his breath. I can feel his body heat warming me as his lips trail down my next and gently places kisses along my collar bone.

"Ana darlin' please let's just go back to the apartment and well you know."

"Please Jason; I just want to feel twenty – two while I can. I have to age twenty years over the weekend. Let me just have tonight." I can see just the edges of his eyes soften, a look he has been giving more for more than half my life. There are so many layers to what I feel for him, so many shades of love and deep down I know that he won't allow himself to feel the same way. He won't let his wall down, not even for a moment, still blaming himself for the one time when he did. He kisses the tip of my nose and then my lips pressing his dick into my belly.

"Fine, two hours."

* * *

The club is packed and looks just like I assumed it would, black, white and gold. Gaudy. There are huge vulgar black and white nudes on the walls that are spotted in different colored lights depending on the beat of the song. The tables are black lacquer and the booths a tufted white patent leather. The Lucite bar looks like it is floating and the bartenders are in various states of undress. Black leather bikinis for the women and black leather hot pants for the men. There are "performers" chained to walls with blindfolds on and caged dancers randomly placed around the large room. All the staff are adorned with leather studded collars with leashes hanging down their backs. If it wasn't done with a wink and a nod this place would be scary but Elena has managed to get her point across without taking it to far.

Taylor is behind me at all times, I can feel his breath on the top of my hair and his hand at the small of my back guiding me through the club. I know there are at least three of his men scattered around and one in the control room watching me from the cameras. Taylor called to prearrange everything. I see Kate from a far in a private corner table, standing on the tufted booth gyrating to the music, all eyes are on her and I know this was her goal. Mia is sitting beside her feet laughing and bouncing with the music, some man who I don't know, bit looks vaguely familiar has his arm around her shoulder and he looks disgusted by the entire thing.

Jose is sitting off to the side, sipping a beer as he talks to a gorgeous red head. I know he is really passionate about whatever he is saying because his hands are moving wildly, despite the beer he is holding. Jose is a bit of an outsider to our group; his mother Maya is my father's housekeeper. Jose and I have grown up together, the closest thing I will ever have to a sibling and one of the very few people who Taylor trusts me alone with.

Mia's older brother Elliot is one of Kate's many admirers, he is standing there with a group of his friends who I recall but don't remember. His eyes are wide and fixed on her ass. I have seen her naked and let me tell you her ass isn't even her nicest attribute. Elliott is not only a friend but he is also my contractor. He had helped my father and I build the compound, my father's new house, our summer place in Napa and our winter place in Sundance. Elliott and I have a very similar aesthetic, modern but cozy and we work very well together because I trust his taste. We have an early meeting in Monday to discuss some new projects I have planned for the office and the shelter. Just another thing on the never ending to do list.

Jose sees me first and without warning walks away from his red-head greeting me with a warm smile and hug. He whispers something in my ear, a saying from our childhood and I respond the same way every time.

"Maybe one day…Jose…" He nods and smiles at Taylor who returns the same gesture in kind, their special brand of non-verbal communication.

"So Monday is the big day lady executive."

"That it is… I am so nervous."

"Ahhhh you'll be fine you always are. You dad his no worries." Jose has been working for my father for years on and off as a gopher of sorts while he gets his degree. The truth is Jose is like the son her never had and he likes having him around and on the company payroll.

I can feel the heated gaze of little red riding hood in the corner, she is throwing daggers as if I threw a bucket of pigs blood over her well-coiffed head.

"Jose… the natives are getting restless. You better get back over there before she tries to kill me with telekinesis. He looks back towards her sheepishly and shrugs.

"Yeah I guess, we were just about to leave actually. I want to show her my, uh, work." She and Taylor share a silent smirk; Jose still has not grown out of his man whore ways. Looking the ay that he does it's understandable. I was a man that looked like Jose; I would fuck everything in sight too. He is Brazilian and Irish, so his skin is the color of creamy coffee but his eyes are a pale dreamy green and when he catches the sun his curly hair lightens to a golden blonde. He really is a sight to behold, I have had my fair share of naught thoughts over the years but we are more important than a few X rated whims.

"Yeah sure you do Don Juan… have fun." I give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek just to piss little red off a bit more.

Taylor's grip tightens on my waist and I almost regret coming at all. I really am making his life and job so much harder than it needs to be. I make myself a mental note to make it up to him later. Kate finally sees me in the crowd and jumps off the booth with the grace of a well-trained gymnast. She flies at me like a Nigerian runner and has her arms wrapped around my waist, squeezing whatever air she didn't already knocked out of me. If Taylor had not been right behind me we both would have fallen over.

"Ana! You came! I knew you would come…" She gives me a sloppy wet kiss on the cheek, grabs my hand and leads me back to the table. I glace back at Taylor who just smirks and shrugs his shoulders. I sometimes think he is an alien with the ability to read minds because he knows I already want to go.

Elliott has now slid into the booth beside Mia who is sandwiched between him and mystery man, whose impassive stare lingers over the throbbing crowded dance floor. Kate slides next to Elliott and I am at the end. Usual protocol, I am always seated at the end or with my back to a wall, preferably both. This leaves less room for approach and make a get-way easier. Taylor stands beside me about two feet away, at attention. Every so often he talks to the guys from his ear piece.

"Ana, Kate said you were going to come but I didn't believe you would!" Mia yells over the music. "Isn't this place fantastic, Aunt Elena did a great job didn't she?" I smile and nod, looking around the space, giving it a second chance but no my first impression was dead on. Gaudy.

"Mia this place is fucking awful, Ana come-on you can't really like this?" Elliott knows my taste and shutters as he looks around the space; I am relieved to learn that he didn't have a hand in this – uh – design.

"I have to defer to Elliott on all things of a design nature. Now Mia if I wanted to know what the medical term was for a… I don't know… a knee cap was you would be the person I would go to…"

"It's called the patella…" Mia laughs and finishes the last sip of her drink. "It's not that bad is it?" She whines like a child; somehow I think her hand might have played a role in this monstrosity of this – uh – space.

"It's a cluster fuck of awful!" Mystery man finally speaks, he face snarled up in anger, his forearms tight, the sinewy muscle flexing. Wait, what the fuck, why am I looking at his tanned taught sinewy arm?

"Christian it's not that bad!" I feel my mouth drop open a bit, Christian Grey. Mia and Elliott's older brother. He looks like a darker, larger, younger version Carrick, that's why he seems familiar. I have heard a lot about him and honesty none of it is very good. He has had a very complicated past and I know he has been a cross to bear from his father Carrick and his step-mother Grace. "Oh Shit! Christian this is Ana Steele, how rude am I! I forgot you two have never met… "

He leans forward, past Mia and Elliott and Kate and extends his hand towards me, feel like everything has gone into this strange slow motion as I reach my hand up to take his. I feel a surge of energy flow from his body to mine then from mine back to his, like a never ending wave. His face changes for a second just barely a look of confusion before he pulls his hand away and sits back down.

Well if I didn't need a drink before I certainly do now. Elliott waves over a scantily clad woman with long bleached blonde hair and very large breasts, she take our order quickly and spends a good thirty seconds staring at Christian. He is oblivious, staring off into the crowd emotionlessly once again. She flicks her hair over her shoulder, visiably pissed at his ignorance and walks away with annoyance inher step. Elliott lighty swats him in the back of the head, and Christian eyes burn with fire.

"What the fuck Ell…"

"Bro, that POA was scoping you out… Look alive would ya…" I see Christian's lips move but I can't make out what he is saying, he turns his body away from the group slightly and that is the last I hear from him all night. Like a shade has come down over a window, he is done for the night.

As promised after two hours of a few strong drinks, several embarrassing stories I start to make my goodbyes. Kate does her usual whining and moaning begging me to stay. I firm up plans for my meeting with Elliott on Monday and promise to me Mia for brunch one Sunday. Christian gives me a curt nod which kind of pisses me off considering that he barely spoke a word to me all night, but whatever. I have more important things to worry about.

* * *

I am sitting in the back of bomb proof, gun proof, theft proof, two million dollar limo. I slip off my heels and ease back into the custom made leather seats. I moan loudly, the music in the club gave me a headache and I am grateful for the silence.

"You okay Sugar?" I catch is eye in the rearview mirror and smile, his eyes just kill me. Seriously it's almost not fair.

"Yeah, I am just tired. Really tired. Thank you for tonight I had fun."

"Did you really?"

"As much fun I guess I am capable of having. It is what it is Jay… I can't stop living my life."

"I know but tonight opened you up to so many possibilities, I can imagine you were able to relax and I noticed that you barely finished your drink." He never missed a single detail, if a vase was out of place in my apartment he would go to the video room to see how and why it was moved. Anyone new that moved into our building got a full background check; everyone on our staff was subject to the same scrutiny. His job was daunting and to be honest I didn't know how he kept it up.

"I haven't relaxed since… "I stop before I allow my mind to go there and recover quickly, I don't want his mind going there either. " God I don't think I have ever relaxed." I chuckle nervously, pressing the palm of my hand to my forehead looking for some relief from this throbbing headache.

"I have seen you relax… in fact I have been the cause of said relaxation."


	2. Chapter 2

A/N - I just wanted to thank everyone who had read and reviews the first chapter of this story... It got a crazy amount if reviews and I was happily surprised. the Taylor twist has gotten good and not so good feedback, but as those of you who follow me on FB know, I might have a crush on Taylor so I wanted to craft a story where he was more prominent but still at its core was about Ana and CG finding one another and falling in love. There is a HUGE reveal about CG's backstory that takes a huge step away from the books so I am curious to hear your thoughts about that!

Again Thank you all for reading and reviewing! XOXO PPP

* * *

I wake up alone. I usually do. I can still feel his touch, his fingers inside of me, and his mouth torturing me, somehow making me numb and sore at the same time. I can still taste the salt of his skin and his cum on my lips. I can hear his deep husky moans, as he says my name over and over. I am marked by him, and he by me. Somehow I fall asleep in Taylor's strong arms, running my fingers over his taught muscles and through his soft golden hairs, safe and happy. But morning comes and I wake up in an empty bed, more alone because I know what it feels like to have him there beside me. I don't understand why he won't stay, or why he thinks leaving me time and time again is somehow better or easier. Who it is better for I have no clue; it must be as hard for him as it is for me. Unless… no I won't go there, I can't go there.

The worst part of it is that I have given up the hope that one morning I will wake up and he will still be there. I know as I my eyes close heavy with sleep that when they open again he will not there. The hope is gone and somehow knowing that, waking up without him on this day is making me depressed and I am not really sure why. Once the hope is gone there is nothing left.

I pull myself out of bed, more disgusted then angry and get my workout gear on. The gym is one place where I can work out my anger and aggression without scorn or control. Feeling how I do this morning, I need to work out and purge myself of all of this angst and tension. I grab my phone and ear buds and wander down the stairs through my apartment. I bought the building a few years ago, an old factory and converted it into a mixed use property. Commercial retail space and a bar on the first floor, ten apartments and then my two level penthouse. It is the perfect mix of old and new, large windows, concrete floors, exposed brick and hundred year old wooden beams. My father hates it which makes me love it all the more. If I was up to him I would be living in one of his guest houses on the compound. But I needed space and distance after college. It's at least a forty minute drive from the office and I cherish each and every one. I needed to retain a shred of my freedom and buying this place was the way I chose to do it but of course Ray couldn't just let it be, he had to put his two sense in by way of millions of dollars of security.

I have hit mile four on the treadmill and Rihanna is blaring in my ears, I am sweating and with each drop of moisture I feel better, lighter even until I feel him enter the room and all the hard work goes flying out of the window. I watch him in the mirror leaning in the door way, arms folded against his chest. He does not realize that I know he is there and he is starring at my ass like the dirty old man he hates to be. Finally we lock eyes and he smiles; just a small sweet smile and I can almost forget how shitty I felt this morning. Almost.

"What Taylor." I bark out harsher then I intended, pulling the buds from my ears but not breaking my stride. "What?!" My tone hit the target because he looks shocked by it. He straightens up and looks at me with question in his eyes.

"I didn't know where you were, we have been looking for you." Yes of course, he is doing his job, caring more about my physical being then my mental or emotional one.

"Where else would I be but here. Is there something you want Taylor or do you just want to ogle my ass?"

"No Miss Steele." Taylors jaw is tight and he opens his mouth to speak again. I can see him stopping himself, he self-control astounds me. I just want to yell at him, tell him to show a fucking emotion but what would be the point, this man has no feelings.

"Good then leave me be." I put the buds back in my ears and turn up the volume, drowning out his sound, his smell and his presence. I can feel him watching me again for a few moments but I refuse to meet his eye again. Instead I up the incline and accept the pain burning in my legs, keeping my mind where it needs to be – far far away from here.

I push myself past the six mile mark before I can run no more, until my legs are jelly and my heart is beating out of my chest. It's not even nine yet and I have the whole long lonely day spread out in front of me. I shower and change, check my email, return a few text messages. I have women in business luncheon tomorrow but other than that my weekend is my own. I meander into the kitchen and make myself a smoothie, my usual: Coconut water, banana, kale, apple and strawberry. A touch of honey and a splash of almond milk and I am set. I have considered hiring a full time cook and housekeeper, I have the room for one but I just hate the idea of having another person living in my space full time. I mean it's bad enough I have Taylor and Sawyer lurking around 24/7.

"Morning Ana." Speak of the damn devil. Luke Sawyer, Taylor's second in command. Luke is a former black ops Seal, his file gave me chills when I read it for the first time. His stunning looks just as deadly as his hands. I am a woman surrounded by the impossible beauty of men. It's like being in a museum. Look but don't touch.

"Morning Luke. You want a smoothie?" He scrunches up his face in disgust and shakes his head no.

"Do I ever want a smoothie…It's the color of raw sewage or MRE rations. I don't know how you drink that shit."

"It's good for me." Taylor walks in quietly and looks at me sheepishly; I feel my mood change at his presence. "You be amazed at what shit I can swallow." The double entendre is not lost on either I man as I grab my glass and waltz out of the kitchen with a spring in my step.

"Ana would you hold up for a god dammed minute." I stop half way to the living room and rest my glass on the end table, taking a deep breath but I don't turn around. "You can't go around saying things like that. Sawyer could get the wrong idea and then what?" His voice in tinged with bubbling anger and his words set fire to the rage that is the dry grass my heart has become where Taylor is concerned. I have never been more done with him than I am at this very moment.

"The wrong IDEA? What that we are fucking, because we're not… or that you love me because you don't… That you spend the night with me? God knows the world would come to an end if I didn't wake up alone! So what "wrong" idea could he possibly get?"

"Ana, sugar…"

"Don't sugar me Jason. Your Texas drawl is not going to work this time. I can't, no I won't do this anymore." For a brief moment I see an expression on his face that I have never seen before, panic and the sight gives me a surge of adrenaline the likes I have never known before. I straighten my shoulders and give him one last look before I turn and walk away, no I run away, taking two steps at a time up to my bedroom. I long to feel him close behind me but I don't. I make it to my bedroom, alone once again; the bed still unmade sinking in the shame of the night before.

My mind is screaming what I heart does not want to admit. That this, Taylor and I, our "relationship" is just another part of his job that he is with me so that no one else can be. Keeping the sheltered heiress entertained and the security risk low, it is something I have feared since the first time he kissed me and now my gut is telling me that it is true.

The idea that all of this probably is a lie just solidifies every fear and insecurity that I have. It brings up all the bad memories I have tried to suppress, it gives life to the nightmares that keeps me awake at night and makes them all a reality. I sit at the foot on my bed with my head in hand when I hear him walk in and close the door behind him. The bed shifts with his weight as he sits beside me and places his hand on my knee.

"Ana, look… do I wish things were different. Yes of course I wish they were, you have no idea how much but this is what it is. Do I love you? Yes… I love you. Do I want to fuck you? Yes, all of the god dammed time. Do I want to wake up next to you? Of course I do, but I can't and you know all the reasons why."

"Are you with me… as part of your job?" His brow furrows as he processes my question and then a look of horror spreads across his face as if I just slapped him.

"That's what you think, really Ana?" I nod once wrapping my arms around my body, in dire need of some comfort. "No, that is worst thing you have ever said to me. Because that is saying you don't trust me and that is all that matters Ana, trust. I am with you because I am a weak man who fell in love with the one person in the whole world I should not have fallen in love with. I can't tell you how many times I have wanted to quit so we could just be together, but then I don't trust another man to watch after you the way that I would. To keep you safe… look what happened last time. I took a week off and it all went to hell." He grazes his strong calloused hand over my shoulder, his thumb making a small circle over my scar and feel my body melt into his touch. "Look in a year my contract with your father is up… and we can sign a new contract, were I would work for you alone or maybe no contract at all, I don't know. But a year is not that long Ana, and we are worth it." My heart stops at his words because I want to believe them so much, I want to feel love and love and trust. I reach up and grab his hand on my shoulder and pull it over my heart, I can feel him relax a bit as he exhales deeply.

"I love you Jason but you are breaking this and I can't just go buy a new one."

"I know, I don't want to hurt you Ana, my sole purpose is to keep you safe." He leans down and brushes my lips with his own and a feel this tingle and warmth spread throughout my body. "I hate to leave you like this but I have to go pickup Sophie in twenty minutes, can we talk about this later."

"There really is nothing more to say, nothing can change for a year right…It is what it is… Go get Sophie. Were fine…"

"Why don't I believe you?"

"Maybe because I am lying." I chuckle nervously and stand up. "What did you say to Sawyer about my outburst?"

"That we had a fight about a guy hitting in you last night. I don't think he bought it, he knows something is going on between us but so far he is keeping his mouth shut. Ana I don't want to leave it like this…"

"Go enjoy the day with you daughter okay, you never get enough time with her. I will be waiting when you get back."

* * *

"Miss Steele, Elliott Grey is here to see you." Monday has come with a vengeance and my first day playing CEO has been harder than I thought but so far I am keeping my head above water. My father has called me a dozen times even though his office is less than twenty feet away from mine; I have sat through three meetings already and one unnecessary conference call. Elliott is a welcome distraction, as usual.

"Thank you Andrea, send him in." Elliot walks in first like a ray of blonde perfect sunshine, I have known him for years and he is one of the happiest men I have ever met. What takes me by surprise is the prince of darkness that saunters in behind him, Christian Grey. Since meeting him on Friday I have had a dirty thought about him every ninety seconds or so, it is really messing with my already cluttered mind. Now what was going to be my relaxed meeting with one of my favorite people has turned into another round of torture.

"Elliott, Christian… So nice to see you both again." I stand up from my desk and lean in, shaking Elliott's hand and then Christian's. I feel it again, the motion of the ocean passing between us and it takes me off guard even though I was hoping it would happen. I look him in the eye searching for small sign that he feels it too, but there in nothing in his blank stare. "Please have a seat."

"Ana, you look great in this office, I must say…"

"Thank you Elliott, it has been a long time coming. Your guys did a great job with it. Your new designer Gia has a great eye." The office is large, painted a soft pale blue; everything else is a pale taupe or cream, including my marble and wood desk. The art work is spectacular, commissioned by a local artist paintings of the view from my office done in an impressionistic style. Bringing the outside in.

"That she does…" He says it with a cat that ate the canary glint in his eye and I know he is fucking her. I shake my head scolding him and he chuckles that I know.

"Some things never change do they Elliott and you wonder why Kate won't have anything to do with you." Kate told me once long ago that Elliott was the one, she just wasn't ready yet.

"I am going to marry Kate someday, might as well have fun while I can."

"I hate to break it to you but Kate has her heart set on marrying Prince Harry so…"

"That fucking ginger… please I am not worried." I laugh at his self-confidence and for the first time in days I smile a real smile.

"I don't know Elliott; we gingers have a way with the ladies…" Christian chimes in, his voice dripping with sarcasm and innuendo. I look at him closely in the light of day. His hair is a light brown that is tinged with a copper glow, not really a ginger but I get the implication. His eyes are a deep steely grey, and for someone so young I can tell he has an old soul trapped inside his perfect body.

"Ahhh he speaks." I cock my head to one side and cross my arms against my chest. "Here I was thinking you were mute but it turns out you are just rude." His eye brows shoot up at my challenge and smirk spreads across his face.

"You have no idea how rude I can be Miss Steele." Our eyes are locked for what feel like an eternity, I can feel my heart beating in my chest and my breath quicken under his gaze. Elliot clears his throat loudly and thankfully the moment is broken.

"Anyway, let's get down to business…I know you are very busy Ana."

"That I am. Ok we have a few things to go over, I looked over the plans you sent over to my apartment for the shelter, and I agree with all the changes. I love the idea you had about the gym space and teaching self-defense classes. I have reached out to my trainer and he is going to source some instructors."

"Thanks Ana, but that idea goes to Christian." Elliott, gives Christian a hard slap on the shoulder, beaming with pride at his brother. He shoots Elliott a dirty look, not used to credit I guess.

"It was a very good idea Christian, very intuitive and appropriate. I wish I would have thought of it." He mumbles a thank you and I can tell he is uncomfortable. There is more to this man then he wants people to see, what I know of his past is limited but the man who stands before me today is not the man from the stories of that I am certain.

"Anyway, I want to break ground the first sign of spring and it opened by Thanksgiving." Elliot's eyes go wide and he takes a long moment weighing my words.

"That's a tight time frame for such a big undertaking but I think we can do it, barring any major setbacks. Once you decide on a final budget we can really get moving."

"There is no budget Elliott, you have carte blanche. I want this to be the biggest and best it possibly can. The standard to which shelters are held to. I have toured many over the past year preparing for this project, and I was appalled. Truly appalled. Just the idea that shelters for battered women have no security measures in place, astounds me. Which reminds me, will I see you at the fundraiser next week?"

"Yes of course, the whole family will be there. Mom has been talking about it nonstop. It's a great thing you are doing?" I was thrilled beyond belief when Grace offered up her home as the sight for the event; her fundraisers were always so seamless and well done. I was hoping all of that skill would rub off on me.

"Fundraiser?"

"Jesus Christian you never listen when mom speaks. Ana is having a fundraiser at the house on Saturday for underfunded women's shelters in Washington. Obviously Safe and Secure has more than enough money to spare but there are many other shelters that do not. We have already paid for your ticket so get your tux out of the closet." Christian shifts uncomfortably in his chair, he has managed to avoid all public family outings since he has been back and I understand why. People love to talk and gossip.

"Mia has helped me plan it actually, so it should be a fun night."

"Mia has been helping my mother plan the Coping Together events for years; she knows what she is doing." There is a glint in his eye when Christian speaks about Mia and for a moment he feels more – human and less of a dickhead.

"Now what about this new project, Ana. You are going to be keeping me and my men busy for the better part of the year I am happy to say?"

"Come let me show you." They follow me into the elevator and I am wedged between these two very large men. I can feel my body hum and like iron to a magnet tilt slightly towards Christian. My shoulder brushes his elbow slightly and a grumble passes his lips as he takes a small step away from me. I feel his rejection with every part of my being and try to ignore the sadness that follows. We ride the short distance up to the very top floor." It is a large expansive space, surrounded by glass on all sides. It overlooks the compound and you can see my father's mansion off in the near distance.

"I remember this space, your dad wanted to use it as a conference room of sort's right… to impress visitors… He called it the Skyfloor right?"

"That is correct Elliott, but then you convinced him to build the pavilion instead." He shrugs with a wide smile, that pavilion was his dream build, an ode to his creative whims and one of the most spectacular buildings I had ever had the pleasure of standing in. "So I want to turn this space into a playroom of sorts." Christian chokes out a laugh and then quickly regains himself. I glare at him, my eyes burning with anger. He can be charming and thoughtful one moment and then ee is so rude and inconsiderate and infuriating in an instant. Everything about him pushes one or ten of my buttons. Elliott gives him a look of death that rivals my own and turns his attention back to me.

"Yes…well you see our employees work very long hours, some even live here."

"Live here?"

"Yes bro, we built campus like housing… what was it Ana three years ago?"

"About that, we are so far from the city and suburbs that weather conditions and late hours had people sleeping at the desks. So dad decided on housing was the way to go."

"Sounds like Chinese factory workers to me." He is being snide for no good reason and I have had enough of his shit. I take two very large steps towards him, so I can feel the heat radiating off his body and smell the peppermint on his breath.

"Our employees are beloved Mr. Grey, my father and I strive to ensure a happy safe work environment. Our workers are paid well over the national scale, they have unlimited sick pay, free on site housing, most meals are provided here. We have a child care facility and an emergent care center on site as well. Our turn over rates are less than 2% and have been voted by Forbes the best privately owned company to work for three years in a row. So before you rush to asinine judgment of things you know nothing about perhaps you best keep your mouth shut." His breathing is a labored as my own, yet another man to under estimate me. There is this passing moment where I feel he is going to grab me; I can almost feel his hands on my shoulders, a phantom touch. Instead he takes a deep breath, once and then again. He closes his eyes and when he opens them all traces of his anger are gone.

"My apologies Miss Steele. It was a poor attempt at a joke. I see how seriously you take your company and the care of its employees." I say nothing, mainly because I cannot process a single word in my head that does not beg him to kiss me. Instead I turn my attention back to Elliott who is looking on nervously.

"We don't really have a space for relaxation here in the office, we have the offsite gym and rec center but the cafeteria is really the only place in this building. I figured with could make this space a lounge. Build some bathrooms, maybe a remote kitchen. A few televisions, video games, some custom sofas. It's not a very big project, I know but a worthwhile one."

"I agree Ana, it's a great idea and we could have it done in a month or two."

"Excellent. I want to keep the budget somewhere around a half million, less if you can."

"I can more than work with that. Ana may I speak with your privately for a moment." He looks at Christian whose eyes have been darting around the space; I can see his wheels turning.

"Of course." Christian takes his cue and walks over to the elevator while Elliot leads me to the far corner of the room.

"I have a huge favor to ask. Look, my brother is just getting back on his feet and he had been working for me for the past year now. He is a great builder, quick learner and I would like him to manage this project for you. It's small enough that he can do it on his own but important enough that he does not feel pandered to."

"Elliott I would love to help you out but I doubt highly that Taylor would even pass him as far as security goes. With his history… Honestly I am surprised he even allowed him up for the meeting today."

"Ana please, I am begging you. He needs to move on from his past and do something on his own. I am sure you could convince Taylor if you wanted to." He was right, if I pushed I could convince Taylor to sign off but did I want to push? Did I want to see Christian Grey on a daily basis? The answer shocked me, because the answer was yes.

"If I do this, you will owe me…" My lips curl up in a smile as do his.

"And what will I owe you exactly?" He lowers his head suggestively, and I know what he is thinking.

"Don't get your hopes up there Elliott; I was thinking more along the lines of my library that you have been promising to build me for years. I have my books in boxes still, my desk waiting for a place of honor and still no library to enjoy on a cold Seattle morning."

"Ahhh the library. Fine. Deal."

"I will see what I can do Elliott, Taylor is going to lose his mind when I ask him to clear a convicted felon. If there is one blip of a problem, he is done. Are we clear?"

"Yes, crystal clear. Thank you Ana." He wraps me up in his arms and plants a warm wet kiss on my cheek. I laugh loudly, begging him to out me down. When my feet finally hit the ground it takes me a moment to catch my breath. I know this moment has been caught on at least one security camera and Taylor is losing his mind.

"Tell your brother he has a week to submit his plans and budget and he can call to make an appointment with Andrea. In the mean time you better start breaking ground on my shelter and my library."

* * *

The week has passed and I have been distant with Taylor, using my new role in the company as an excuse he takes my distance well, too well. I miss him, I hate to admit that fact but I do. It is strange when he is not around, like a limb is missing, maybe because I know he is always watching even if I can't see him, he can always see me. Like Santa or a Sting song.

Kate calls again wanting me to join her and a group of friends for dinner, I decline. I just don't feel like dealing with the stress tonight, knowing that every time I venture outside of my routine I put people lives at risk. It is just easier to stay home. When I inform Taylor of my plans I can see his relief.

"Good Sawyer has the night off." He looks back at me in the rearview looking for a reaction, and I give him nothing. I keep my look as impassive and as not invested as I possibly can, giving him a taste of his own bitter medicine. He says nothing more, as we drive with only the sounds of Gregorio Allegri Miserere between us, one of my personal favorites. I let the calming hymn wash over me, soothing me after a long and hard week. The high note piercing my heart causing a tear to well in my eye, I wipe it away but the action is not lost on Taylor. The man who sees everything.

"I need you to clear Christian Grey Taylor; he is going to be the project manager on the Skyfloor project." I see his hands tighten on the steering wheel.

"Absolutely not Ana, Grey is a fucking convicted murderer. The only reason I let him into the building on Monday is because I trust Elliott but there is no way in hell…"

"Damn it Taylor, look he was convicted of manslaughter, not murder. I am trying to do Elliott a favor here, he gave me his word that Christian would keep it together and I believe he will. If not, Elliot knows he is done."

"I saw his file, I know his story. Maybe you should read it, you wouldn't be so eager to help."

"He made mistakes, we all make them. Look, clear him. Keep a watchful eye on him if it helps you sleep at night. I really don't care, I have so few friends so when one asks me for help, and I feel like I should. Elliott is trying to help his brother."

"What is the deal with you and Elliott Grey?"

"What you're jealous all of a sudden?"

"Not all of a sudden, I am always jealous where you are concerned Ana, I just hide it better than most. Now what is the deal?"

"There is no deal, I like and respect his family, his sister is a dear friend and he and I work well together. He is interested in Kate, if you must know."

"So there has been nothing since your date…"

"That was like four years ago… and no nothing. God Taylor, you are around me all damn day you would know if there was something. I can't even believe you sometimes, I feel like you are half wishing there was "something" so I would end things with you and that way you don't have to be the bad guy."

"Ana, that's not fair…"

"Life is not fair… god knows you have told me that a million times over the years. Just clear him to work… I don't want to talk about this anymore. In fact I don't want to talk at all."

"Fine, but if there is even a tiny thing off about this kid he is done, are we clear Ana. I don't care who his brother/mother/sister is."

"Fine."

"Fine."

* * *

We pull into the parking garage and as usual Taylor helps me from the car. He hand takes mine and I still shiver at his touch. Damn it. We walk in silence, only the click of my heels on the concrete. This is always the longest part of the day for Taylor, the five minutes it takes to get from the car to the elevator. The garage is a rare weak spot in our security, and to be honest it's not even a weak spot just less strong then the others considering I have a bomb proof limo.

Once we are in the old freight elevator I feel his arm snake around my waist, pulling my body to his. His hands are in my hair and then cupping the sides of my face. My heart races and my belly quivers, because something feels different.

"I have missed you darlin. This week you have been so far away from me." His lips crash down on mine, taking my mouth over. He has never done this; kiss me in the elevator where cameras could see us. But I remember in the heat of this moment that Sawyer is not watching and I wrap my arms around his neck giving myself over because for once we are all alone. We shuffle back into the corner, never braking contact. My back hits the cold metal with a thud, his mouth tears away from mine and finds the spot on my neck that make me melt, everything pooling at my core. I am stunned that his is happening here of all places as his unbuttons my pale blue silk blouse and sucks on my nipple through my lace bra. I moan loudly at his forceful touch, his teeth latching on to me. We reach my floor and I am grateful that this elevator is for my private use only because when the doors open we are still alone. I have unzipped his pants, my hands caressing his hard shaft through the cotton on his boxer briefs, my leg is wrapped around his waist and my breast has been yanked from the cup of my bra covered in small red marks from the suction of his perfect mouth.

We both laugh, ashamed of our wanton state as he pulls me though the apartment to my bedroom. I am naked stretched out on my bed, my feet still on the floor, he is on his knees before me, spreading my legs wide and lifting one up onto his shoulder. I feel like my mind disconnects from my body as his fingers massage me over and over, pumping in deeper and deeper - Two fingers and then three. By the time his is sucking on my clit I have come twice a third building. I knot my fingers in his hair, pulling it hard urging him for more. As a military man he takes direction well and he increases his thrust of his fingers and pressure of his expert tongue as I explode around him. His is kissing my inner thighs and I look down as his hand pumps over his eight inch cock. He teases my overly sensitive clit with the tip, over and over. It is torture because I want him to slide his shaft inside of my but I know he won't.

"God Ana, I want to be inside of you… But I will have to settle for making you come like this." He pushes his cock against me harder, almost slapping it on my sensitive numb.

"Taylor please fuck me." I pant out, so close once again and his fingers slide back inside of me.

"I am sugar, I am…" I come again, an explosion in my core that sets my whole body on fire. His eyes are fixed on me, a smile on his face as I try to regain some shred of conscious thought. I reach down and grab his cock, stroking it over and over.

"It's your choice, my tits or my mouth?" I know he likes both, but coming in my mouth is his favorite, so I am surprised when he chooses to fuck my tits instead. I slide up on the bed, a grab a pillow to support my neck. He climbs over me, his knees on either side of my body and instead of grabbing the lube from the drawer beside my bed; he reaches back and puts his fingers inside of me, rubbing my juices over his cock. I press my breasts together firmly and he slides his cock between him. He hisses as the much needed friction and begins to slide against me over and over. I bend my head down and catch the tip of his cock on each upswing tasting myself with each lick. His breath is quickening and his cock twitches as he explodes on my chest, covering me in his hot sticky cum.

"God I love you Ana." He collapses beside me, his chest rising and falling with his heavy breath. I am more turned on now then I was before and I want his mouth on me again.

"Taylor…"

"I know, we're not done here darlin'. Shower… now…" He leaps off the bed and grabs my hands pulling me off the bed dragging me to the bathroom.

* * *

Morning comes, another long Saturday only tonight I have my charity event and there is so much to do. Before my eyes open I am going over details for the event over and over in my head when the most unexpected thing happens. In the broad light of day, I feel Taylors arm wrap around my body from behind pulling me close. His begins kissing my neck and caressing my belly.

"Morning Ana Darlin'." His voice is low and husky, sexy as all hell. This is the first time I have ever woken up with his arms around me and any thoughts about parties or gowns, work or charities will have to wait for later, much much later.

* * *

Gregorio Allegri Miserere is an all time favorite of mine, I have sung it and trust me when I tell you it is amazing. It is also a throw back to Thomas Tallis from the FSOG books. I have posted the English translation from Latin below. The words are going to be very fitting to where this story takes CG...I will also be posting the song on Twitter and Facebook.

Have mercy upon me, O God, after Thy great goodness  
According to the multitude of Thy mercies do away mine offences.  
Wash me thoroughly from my wickedness: and cleanse me from my sin.  
For I acknowledge my faults: and my sin is ever before me.  
Against Thee only have I sinned, and done this evil in thy sight: that Thou mightest be justified in Thy saying, and clear when Thou art judged.  
Behold, I was shapen in wickedness: and in sin hath my mother conceived me.  
But lo, Thou requirest truth in the inward parts: and shalt make me to understand wisdom secretly.  
Thou shalt purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean: Thou shalt wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.  
Thou shalt make me hear of joy and gladness: that the bones which Thou hast broken may rejoice.  
Turn Thy face from my sins: and put out all my misdeeds.  
Make me a clean heart, O God: and renew a right spirit within me.  
Cast me not away from Thy presence: and take not Thy Holy Spirit from me.  
O give me the comfort of Thy help again: and stablish me with Thy free Spirit.  
Then shall I teach Thy ways unto the wicked: and sinners shall be converted unto Thee.  
Deliver me from blood-guiltiness, O God, Thou that art the God of my health: and my tongue shall sing of Thy righteousness.  
Thou shalt open my lips, O Lord: and my mouth shall shew Thy praise.  
For Thou desirest no sacrifice, else would I give it Thee: but Thou delightest not in burnt-offerings.  
The sacrifice of God is a troubled spirit: a broken and contrite heart, O God, shalt Thou not despise.  
O be favourable and gracious unto Sion: build Thou the walls of Jerusalem.  
Then shalt Thou be pleased with the sacrifice of righteousness, with the burnt-offerings and oblations: then shall they offer young calves upon Thine altar.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

"Ana you're late!" Mia yells at me as she descends down the sweeping stair case at the Grey's Bellevue home. She flings her lithe body around mine wrapping me in a huge hug. I have known Mia since we were sixteen and in college, unprepared and utterly lost. Thank god the Dean suggested that we meet being in the same boat and all. Meeting Mia and Kate were the best things that ever happened to me, they gave me a small semblance of normalcy. Over the years many friends have taken a step back, they couldn't deal with the possibilities that being my friend brought to the table, and even though it sucked I understood. But Kate and Mia, Jose and even Elliott stuck by me, and I treasure each and every one of them.

"I know Mia, I am so sorry I had, uh, a hard morning." I stammer out not really thinking about what I just said. I nervously look back at Taylor who breaks his usual stone faced shell, he chuckles but covers it with a clearing of his throat. I can't help smiling back, my mind flashing back to what he did to me only an hour before. I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks, my body still humming from Taylor's expert touch. Who knew the morning could be so – stimulating. Mia looks over Taylor with a small glint her eye, he is a stunning man and I feel this pang of jealousy watching her watch him. But then she looks at me with a keen eye and I can see the light bulb go off in her head. We have been made.

"Hey Taylor… did you have a "hard" morning too?" I gasp at her boldness and mutter her name, she looks at me with a shit eating grin and shrugs her shoulders.

"Hello Miss Grey, it nice to see you again and for the record for me every morning is a hard morning." I can't stifle my nervous laugh and Mia joins in, her cheeks as red as mine. "I have Miss Steele's dress and bag, where should I put them?"

"Upstairs fourth door on the right is my room; you can just leave it on the bed." We both watch him walk away, Mia's eyes firmly planted on Taylor's splendid ass. "Ana, what is going in with you and Taylor?" Fuck, fuck, fuck…

"Nothing, what are you talking about? Mia you have gone crazy." I manage to mutter out, unable to look her in the eye.

"Ana, come on? You have that look in your eye, like when you were crushing on Eddie Frampton sophomore year." I shudder when I hear his name; Eddie Frampton was hot but a class A jerk. I need to relax and get my game face on and I need to do it quickly. Damage control. Mia is the wrong person to have this information leaking to; she has a big mouth and absolutely no filter. Focus Ana, CEO game face.

"Nothing, he is my bodyguard for crying out loud, he is way too old for me and you know about my fathers no fucking Ana policy. Trust me if there was something going on you would know, if not from me then from Kate." That answer seems to appease her but the dam has sprung a hole and it is starting to leak. I know Sawyer suspects something and Kate has been sniffing around too. As much as I want to out in the open about Taylor I know my father will fire him on the spot and I just can't imagine my life without him in it.

"Ana dear there you are." Grace sweeps into the room, looking amazing as usual. Even her dress down clothes are perfect and amazing. Camel colored leggings, leopard print driving moccasins, and an oversized crisp white shirt. I feel like a slob in my grey yoga pants and Vancouver sweat shirt. Luckily Mia is in scrubs or I would feel even worse. She gives me a warm hug and I get the faint smell of Shalimar. "Everything is going smoothly. The flowers just arrived and they look specular, such a wonderful idea using potted plants that we can bring to shelters in the morning, a much better use of the money. I hated the idea of throwing thousands of dollars away on flowers for one night. I chose orchids in delicate white and cream glazed pots made more sense and it became the theme for the rest of the event, everything had an oriental note. Sushi, dumplings and sake for the cocktail hour and a double happiness feast for the dinner, huge white paper lanterns would light the way to the tent, the orchids for the tables and blooming cherry blossom trees flanking the dance floor. I was relieved that the idea worked and was looking forward to bringing the orchids to a few of the shelters in the area. "The food is amazing, I just did the final tasting and I think you will be pleased. What else, Oh! The tent is up and with the lights I think it is going to look magical. It's so nice to be doing something different this year. Coping Together is great fun but the planning is paint by number now."

"What a relief. I am so glad things are going smoothly. I admit I was worried the idea wouldn't work. I see the press is already lining up outside, they gave Taylor quite the fight to get me in here today."

"The fucking press, they are more interested in getting dirt on Christian then the event!" Mia's tone is flecked with bitterness and anger. I had read the file Taylor complied on Christian (at his relentless instance) and it was understandable. Christian had been through a lot; more than one person should have to endure. I almost wish I hadn't read the file at all. If he wasn't such an arrogant prick I might feel pity for him, instead I just feel sadness.

"Mia. That's enough. The press has long since lost interest in Christian." Grace scolds her youngest like she is still a child and it takes me aback and Mia too. She removes her frameless glasses and squeezes the bridge of her nose. I can see the anguish Christian's past has caused her, I wish I would have known her before everything with him happened.

"Mom, I'm sorry."

"It's fine honey. Let's just not bring it up again tonight. You know how Christian is…"

"No mom, why don't you tell me how "Christian" is…" Grace's entire body tightens at the sound of his voice. We all turn in slow motion and there he stands before us, his eyes blazing with anger causing a chill down my spine. God he is a beautiful man, shoulders sculpted out of golden marble, his grey wife beater covered in sweat darkening the pale fabric, black sweat pants hanging low on his hips, iPod attached to his well-formed bicep. His unruly copper toned hair plastered to his forehead, skin glowing from the adrenaline and its recent exposure to the sun. My mouth goes dry and I have lost any ability to speak. Thank god I have mastered the art of keeping my face neutral or this would be bad.

"Mom was just saying how happy she was that you were coming tonight and how much you hated to put on a tux." Mia was quick with the lie and it seemed to work, his shoulders relaxed a bit and his steely glare softened - slightly. Grace sighed loudly and looked like a weight had been lifted.

"That is true little sister that is true…" He looks at me for the first time and for a brief moment he smiles, I feel my insides turn to mush and he has shocked me for the second time in a few minutes. "Hello Ana, nice to see you again." He extends his hand to shake mine and the moment our fingers touch it happens, this sensation. I do my best to hide its effect on me, epic fail because he smirks and exhales loudly and I pull my hand away from his quickly. "Sorry, sweaty hands…"

"It's fine Christian…Uh… How are the plans going?" Business, keep it about business. I feel thing twinge of guilt in regards to Taylor, I have never had this kind of reaction to another human being touch before. I must be getting my period, pheromones and whatever.

"Great actually, I am almost done. I made an appointment with your assistant for next Friday."

"Excellent. I will look forward to it." He raises his eyebrows. "I am eager to get the project started." I stammer out, trying my best to remain calm.

"Plans for what?" Grace looks confused and Mia face matches her mothers.

"Well, I am working on a reno job for Ana's office. Elliott is really busy so he asked me to manage the project for him."

"Oh Honey that is such great news." She reaches out to hug him but he recoils and Grace looks like he has struck her but she quickly recovers and crosses her arms against her chest.

"It's just a job mother…Please don't make it more than it is. Anyway I have to hit the showers. I will see you all later this evening." With a quick bow of the head he runs up the stairs passing Taylor on the way.

I have made up my mind; I do not like Christian Grey. Not only is he rude and inconsiderate he is also disrespectful. I regret letting my hormones get the best of me by agreeing to have him manage the Skyfloor build. I was in a weakened state, all the drama with Taylor mixed with the boredom of my life; I hope his plans are god awful. Just a "job", if he only knew how many builders were chomping at the bit to have a relationship with my company he wouldn't be so flip.

"Come Mia, Ana… There is much to do before the Glam Squad gets here." She puts and arm over each of our shoulders walking us out to the expansive yard and as usual Taylor is just a few small steps behind, watching.

* * *

The event is going off without a hitch, the weather is perfect for a spring time event, the sky is clear and the moon is full. The band is playing the standards and its giving the night a nostalgic feeling. The MC is doing a great job keeping the money rolling in. Grace was right the huge white tent lit up with thousands of lights looks magical. I am sitting at my table sipping a warm sake out of a square cedar cup wishing I could be out on the dance floor dancing with the man I love but alas he is standing in the corner stoically keeping an eye out of looming danger.

My father arrived late and with an over processed woman just a few years older than I am, her name is Miranda Slater and I dislike her immensely. I did try in the beginning to be civil and kind but she proved herself to be a gold-digger and I refuse to stomach the sight of her. He gave me some lame excuse for his lateness but he would have been better off telling me the truth. That he was fucking his debutante and that was more important than hearing me give my speech. So typical.

"Annie, great job tonight. I am really proud of you." He sits beside me and drapes his arm protectively over my shoulders. I hate that I can't stay mad at my father but it something I can't change. Trust me I have tried.

"Thanks dad. It was a lot of work but worth it. "

"I am sorry I missed your speech, people have been talking about it all night." I smiled as best as I could, he was always missing the big moments of my life. When it was for work I understood because he was building his business, no he was building our business, but missing it for her was just sticking in my claw.

"It's fine Dad, I am used to it." He looks down on me, hurt flashes in his eyes but it is quickly replaced with anger.

"What does that mean?"

"Was I not clear…It means that you have always missed the important things and I am used to being disappointed." I take a long sip and finish my drink. This is not the time or the place for this conversation but it is like a runaway train. I have had all these pent up feelings for my father for a while and if I am being honest it started when I first read the no fucking Ana clause when I turned twenty one. For my father to think that I am so stupid and naive that I would require such a thing to protect my innocence.

_Appendix: No Fucking Ana Clause – The employee hereby complies that no time during his/her employ that he/she will have sexual relations with Ana Rose Steele to maintain and protect her innocence. Any breach of this agreement will result in immediate termination. _

My blood boils every time I recite the passage in my head. Despite all the work I have done to help him build our company, yes OUR company and the fact that I am twenty two years old my father still treats me like I am twelve looking at him with adoration in my eyes. He refuses to admit that times have changed and I want and need to be my own person.

"You have some nerve Ana. God you are so spoiled."

"Spoiled, wow. That is just a load of crap and you know it. I understood when you had to miss my graduation because you were in Afghanistan, I was upset but I understood. When I was running track and you missed regionals because you were buying that factory in China, I got that too. But you know how much this means to me… How much I have worked to get to this night. And for you to miss the speech that I spent weeks perfecting just so you could fuck your flaxen haired nympho who is hoping to get knocked up for a big payday might I add! Well that I don't understand!"

I have stunned my father, it's a first. His jaw is slacked and his eyes are wide. I stand from the table abruptly, my dress catching in the leg of the chair and falling over onto the grass. I storm away into the crowd and run into the house. There is a bevy of activity in the kitchen, men carrying trays full of food, chefs sweating over the stove. I weave my way through looking for a moment alone. I have somehow managed to even avoid Taylor's eagle eye because when I turn around he is not behind me and for the first time in months no one know where I am. I feel relief. I wander down the long hallway, tears streaming down my face. I have never been good at fighting with my father which is why he always wins but tonight I stood my ground. Finally. The sad part is I never felt more juvenile running away in tears.

I am beginning to worry that I will never be happy, that I lack the gene for contentment. I am a very lucky woman, I have never wanted for anything material. I have never known hunger or despair; I have always rested my head on my pillow at night knowing that my bills were paid and that I would always have a roof over my head. But I have never, ever relaxed. I was never a child; I never got to just be a kid and get dirty, or have my heart broken by a stupid boy. I never went to a dance or to prom. Even in college I was so focused on getting done and graduating that I rarely had any fun. If not for Kate's interventions I would have never gone to a single party.

I make my way to the mud room and into the laundry area, looking for a few minutes of solace before Taylor comes to find me. I fling the door open and before my eyes can see, my ears can hear. The low breathy grunts of a man and the high shrill moans of a woman and the sounds of flesh slapping against flesh. The horror spreads though out my body when I realize that Elena Lincoln is bent over the dryer, she is naked from the waist down, her gown hiked up around her hips and her panties in shreds on the floor. Her arms are tied behind her back with what looks like a black ribbon but that is not the horrific part. She is being fucked mercilessly from behind by her nephew (by marriage) Christian Grey. I watch in horrified awe as his unbelievably large cock slides in and out of her at a break neck pace. He is slapping her ass over and over, it is crimson red covered in his hand prints and she as begging him to hit her harder and faster. He comes loudly growling out her name. I gasp my hand covering my mouth. They both turn their heads and see me standing there. Shock spreads across Christians face while Elena smirks and asks me if I would like to join them. My stomach starts to turn at the thought and disgusted I turn away.

"God damn it Elena. Not fucking funny. Ana wait!" He calls out after me but I am already halfway down the hall and have no intentions of turning back. The unbelievable sight of Christian fucking Elena is more them my mind can handle. She is a good fifteen years older than he is and technically she is his Aunt. Grace is his stepmother and Elena is her sister. I feel sick, literally sick to my stomach. It wasn't even that they were fucking as much as it was about how they were fucking. It was so vacant and disconnected, savage and full of rage. Taylor and I have been rough on occasion but nothing been in the realm of what I just witnessed. If that is how they fuck in the back room of his parent's house I can only imagine what happens when they are truly alone.

Everyone around me is fucking inappropriate people but I have to wait to be with the man I love. The irony is not lost on me.

"Ana stop!" I feel his strong hands wrap around my upper arms turning me around to face him like a rag doll. Our breath his hitched, our chests heaving, his touch usual makes me weak but now I just feel disgusted. I pull my body away from his grasp and stumble backwards hitting the wall.

"Don't touch me, I know where those hands have been." He scowls and looks down at his hands and then back to me.

"Fair point well made Ana. Could we just talk in private for a moment? Please." He opens the door to the powder room and motions for me to go in. In the distance I hear Taylor's voice calling my name and I still don't want to be found. I walk in and he follows me, closing the door behind us. I watch as he reaches into his pocket and tosses his used condom into the toilet, and then goes to the task of washing his hands.

"There is not enough hot water and soap in the world."

"Ha, Ha very funny." He runs his wet fingers through this just been fucked hair and in an instant he is back to groomed perfection. He tucks in his shirt and straightens his bow tie before turning to me. "Look, I know what you saw was shocking, but it really isn't. Elena and I are both adults, we are not really related and have been discreetly together on and off over the years. I would appreciate if you would keep what you saw tonight to yourself. Elena is married to a very jealous man and honesty it would kill my mother if she ever found out." His voice is still and even like he is asking the most normal thing in the world.

"Somehow I doubt you give a shit about your mother feelings or you would be fucking her sister."

"Don't you dare judge me Ana. I don't have to explain myself to you or anyone for that matter. WHAT YOU SAW YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE SEEN! What were you even doing here? Shouldn't you be coaxing money out of millionaires?"

"I needed a break okay! I needed some space. What I didn't need was to walk in on you balls deep in that artifact!"

"You have quite the mouth on you Ana. Shit, fuck, balls, you sound like a sailor. Do you kiss your father with that mouth?"

"No I will leave the kissing old people to you Mr. Grey. Now if you would excuse me I have money to coax."

"Ana,wait… Please don't say anything."

"I left high school years ago and I have no intention of spreading gossip. But perhaps you should rethink your choices Christian. It would appear that you are ashamed of this relationship as you should be. That is very telling." His face turns ashen, and he runs his fingers through his hair over and over.

"Judge all you want Ana, you are just a spoiled child for fucks sake. What do you know about life and sex and fucking. Life is messy and hard and miserable we can't all be sheltered and protected like you." He harsh and angry words cut me to the core because in many ways he is right, hitting his target with precision.

"Who is judging now! You don't know a single fucking thing about me. But I know all about you, I have a file an inch thick!" Take that asshole. I turn away leaving him with a slacked jaw and his eyes wide in shock.

I make my way back to the party shaken to my core. Between fighting with my father, waking in on the Golden Girls fuck party and fighting with Christian I am done. All I want to take a hot shower and wash the grossness of what I witnessed off my body, maybe I will even gauge out my eyes. But I can't, there is two hundred people put there and I have an obligation to complete, money to coax and a dance auction to participate in. I wipe the tear stains off of my cheeks and march my way back out to the party.

Taylor intercepts me in the kitchen and radios to his team that he has found me. I want to hurl myself into his arms and feel his lips on mine. I want him to call me darlin, weave his fingers in my hair and tell me everything is going to be okay, but that is just another thing I can't do.

"Ana, Jesus Christ. There you are. What happened?"

"Dad and I had a fight, I needed a minute."

"Ah so that's why he left so abruptly. His dragged that little filly out of her like his pants were on fire."

"Fuck him and fuck her."

"Woah, Ana calm down. Breathe and just take a moment." His voice softens and lowers and octave, his accent thick like honey on a winter's day. After all I have witness and being fresh from the fight I need him to make me come. I crave it even.

"Taylor, when we are done here I am going to let you do all sorts of things to me." His mouth curls up in a sly smile and my core tightens.

"Darlin' you have no idea. Go do your thing so we can get the fuck out of here and I can get you out of that dress."


	4. Chapter 4

Nearly an hour later I have secured a million dollar donation from a music executive and another two hundred thousand from an up and coming dotcom guy, I am riding high on adrenaline if this keeps up this could be a ten million dollar night. Ten million is twice what I was planning on; I will have to shift a few things to match the donation like I planned. Twenty million dollars will go a long way, a very long way. As the night dwindles down and the crowd thins a bit, I am chatting with a circle of women who names I don't know and faces I definitely won't remember. They are talking about Christian of course; how he looks in his tux (amazing) and how he has not danced with anyone all night (he was "dancing" with Elena, that's for sure). I smile and nod, trying to bring the conversation over to Elliott and his top notch construction skills but apparently his name is a four letter word in this crowd. He has fucked them all by the tight looks on their overly made up faces. Feeling uncomfortable I excuse myself with some fake duty to perform and drift back to the outskirts of the party.

I am exhausted, totally and completely spent. My Jimmy Choo's are pinching my now swollen feet after hours prancing around on five inch heels no one can even see. My dress is long, black and satin. Modestly and respectability are always on the forefront of my mind when I am dressing for one of these events. I would love to wear something shockingly low cut or short, or both like some of the attendees tonight but alas I do not. It's a one shoulder gown showing off my totally bare right shoulder and the long expanse of my collar bone and my naked neck. I can afford any diamond I want but jewelry seems like dress up for me, so all that I wear are my diamond stud earrings my father gave me for my sixteenth birthday. The rich ebony fabric ruches around my waist, making it look smaller than it actually is and then drapes to the floor, flowing back behind me as I walk. The only thing making me feel somewhat sexy is the knowledge that I am not wearing and bra and the red lace panties that I chose. I lean back against a column, the rough cold stone against my skin and watch the party with a keen eye. Everyone here tonight is hiding something, me included. Taylor catches my eye a few feet away. He smiles and nods, just reminding me that he is there, always there watching out. There are five of his men here tonight, all linked together by ear pieces, scattered across the house in an effort to keep me safe. I often wonder if I am worth the effort or their lives, and I always come to the conclusion that I am not.

Grace finds me in the crowd, the layers of her golden organza gown glowing under the twinkling lights. All she is missing the opalescent bubble surrounding her as she floats towards me, saying my name. She envelopes me in a huge bear hug, her touch is oddly reassuring and something I needed more then I was willing to admit. If she only knew what I knew, saw what I had just seen her heart would be broken and I didn't want that for her. She deserves better and damn Christian for creating a situation where she could be hurt. After all she had done for him over the years he owed her loyalty if nothing else.

"Ana you have really outdone yourself tonight, I am so proud of you! Everyone is buzzing about your wonderful, inspiring speech. I could not take my eyes off of you and I was not the only one. And all the money you collected this evening, I just heard the final tally was twelve million. You must give a speech at the next Coping Together Gala. Please say you will?" I am humbled by her praise and her attention, how lucky I would have been to have a mother like Grace. To have had her influence in my life at an early age, maybe I would have held on to my childhood a little longer than I did.

"I would be honored." She takes my face in her hands and kisses both cheeks.

"Excellent!"

"Mother, you look wonderful as usual." Christian walks up with Elliott in toe and kisses her cheek; she basks under the glow of his attention. Elliott hugs her warmly and whispers something in her ear causing her to chuckle and pat his arm in a false attempt to admonish him. Elliott then turns his attention to me, his eyes gazing over my body; he lets out a long low whistle.

"Damn Ana, you look great tonight."

"You don't look so bad yourself Elliott. I am used to you in dirty jeans and a hard hat. This is quite the upgrade." He smiles and shoves his hands in his pocket trying to look casual. He just looks hot and he knows it.

"Christian where have you been hiding all night? I haven't seen you for hours." Grace reaches up and fixes his bow tie which I now realize was the black ribbon tied around Elena's wrists. I cringe at the thought and feel the overwhelming urge to flee.

"I have been around. I caught your speech earlier Ana, very impressive. You have a way with words." He smirks slightly making my blood boil and I know he is talking about what happened between us in the hallway and not on the stage.

"Thank you Christian." I do my best to keep my voice steady, even and most of all kind.

"Sorry I missed it Ana… I got here a little late tonight." He opens his mouth to speak again and extends his hand slightly and I know he is going to ask me to dance but Christian takes a step forward eclipsing his brother entirely. He extends his hand to me, and dips his head. At first I am not sure what he wants as the music swells around us and then his intention becomes clear. Grace smiles and nods in approval while Elliott scowls.

"Ana, may I have this dance?" His smooth baritone is sweet as fucking pie. The son of a bitch has trapped me and he knows it, the shit eating grin on his face speaks volumes. I take his hand and of course that feeling happens again, like the full summer moon pulling the ocean tide. I mean seriously can I get a freaking break, how can his touches move me so greatly and mine have zero influence on him.

I allow him to lead me on to the dance floor, he pulls my body to his and we move with the music, Solitude. The band is trying its best but the lead singer can't capture Billie Holiday's sadness or soul. I feel small and breakable in his arms constrained against his large frame, his presence lacks the safety that Taylor's offers me. Christian has the ability to break more than just hearts, this man in a soul crusher. We sway together, the music keeping our rhythm. His body is tense against mine, his hand at the small of my back keeping me close.

"Relax Ana, I am not going to bite you." He scowls down at me, his grey eyes now a haunting shade of black as he runs the tip of his tongue over his lower lip.

"I don't think anyone is capable of relaxing around you Christian." I am trying to be a bitch and wound him slightly, and it appears as though I have hit my target because his face shows a hint of distress before it returns to its usual impassive glare.

"Fair point well made." He exhales deeply through his nose and closes his eyes. His lashes are so long and copper flecked like his hair. I stare at them until his eyes fly open, shocking me. I can feel my cheeks burn when it clicks in his head that I am attracted to him, a look of shock and satisfaction flashes across his face. I can see his whole demeanor change from the lamb to the lion. "I think we might have gotten off on the wrong foot."

"You think?"

"Look, it's not that big of a deal…What you saw, you should not have seen. End of story… Unless you like what you saw and then…well… " His voice has changed in texture and tone, this dirty bastard is trying to seduce me into silence.

"I caught you red handed…literally red handed… not an hour ago fucking a woman who turns my stomach full clothed no less naked. If you are propositioning me for sex you have really lost your ever loving mind. " His jaw tenses and his grasp around my waist tightens and he lowers his mouth to my ear.

"You've read my file Ana, you know my mind was lost a very long time ago." His deep voice is full of sadness and regret making me feel like the big bad bitch. "Elena and I… we just understand each other, cut from the same fucked up cloth I guess."

"I am not going to tell anyone if that is what you are worried about, I told you already gossip is not my thing. So let's just try and pretend that none of this ever happened." I can feel his body relax a bit against mine. He nods once and then spins us both around in perfect time with the music, I can't help the laugh that escapes my mouth or that I tighten my grip around him. He leads me around the dance floor like a pro and I can feel all eyes are on us. I can only imagine what the rumor mill will be churning out come morning.

"That really was quite the speech. That part about the abuse and debasement of the female soul being more powerful and long reaching than the abuse and debasement of her body. " I am surprised he was listening so intently that he can quote my speech because that was my favorite part too.

"Thank you, I appreciate that."

"You really do have a way with the words that come out of that smart mouth."

"Words are an illusion. Illusions are easy." I can sense Taylor's glare over Christian's broad shoulder and suddenly feel like I am doing something wrong. The song ends and another begins, I wiggle out of his grasp. "Thank you for the dance, I will see you next week." I can't manage to look him in the eye as I speak my right hand still in his left. I feel his fingers clench on mine, pulling me back as I ease away and then just as quickly they release me, leaving only emptiness behind.

"Yes of course. Next week… Until then Miss Steele." The formality of his tone is not lost on me as he turns on his heel and walks away. I watch as he makes his way through the parting crowd, his frame becoming a hazy blur until he is gone all together. There is something about him, something I don't understand, and something that makes me want to follow where he goes. I grab a glass of champagne from a waiter as he makes his way past me and take a long sip.

"Are you ready to go Miss. Steele?" It's Taylor voice in my ear, edged with anger. "Or perhaps you would like to dance some more?" I turn to face him and of course his face is neutral like nothing is wrong.

"I would like to dance with you but alas not possible so yes I am more than ready to go. Let me just say my goodbyes." Over an hour later I am in the safety of my limo. Taylor is still pissed because there is no music playing and he has chosen to leave the privacy glass up and honesty I am too tired to give a shit. I pull my iPhone out of my purse and scroll through some emails and dick around on Candy Crush. What CEO's can waste time too. I usually like the drive to catch up on some sleep but I am too amped up. What a night it has been, I was expecting a boring charity event but nothing is boring when Christian Grey is involved. Nothing.

Slowly the privacy glass comes down and my eyes lock with Taylor's in the rear view. I can see the anger on his face and I understand it. I know what it felt like dancing with Christian I can only imagine how it looked even though it meant nothing.

"Is that why you wanted me to clear him?" I think for a moment and a relieved when my conscious comes up with the right answer.

"No. I wanted you to clear him because Elliott asked me to."

"He is dangerous Ana…"

"I know."

"There is more about him then what I showed you in the file."

"Trust me I know. I walked in on him and Elena Lincoln fucking in the laundry room tonight. That's why we were dancing, he asked me not to tell anyone." His eyes shoot up in surprise and his mouth drops a bit, I really took him by surprise. Score one Ana.

"You walked in on them…fucking?"

"That I did… it was like a living breathing sex show."

"Sex show huh… Lift your dress up Darlin'." His is dragging out the end of each word. He shifts in his seat and I can feel the limo accelerate.

"What?"

"You fucking heard me Ana, lift up your dress and take off your panties. I want to see your pussy."

"You can't be serious?" Now it is my turn to be shocked, he has been so different the last few days and honestly I love it. Score one Taylor.

"I am very serious. I got to watch you get passed along from guy to guy tonight…dancing…talking… laughing… flirting…it was fucking torture. Now I want to watch you touch yourself." His voice is thick and heavy like his cock, his glare has changed from anger to his signature sexy time look. Oh shit. I reach up and turn on the overhead reading light above my seat. I slowly pull at smooth satin fabric on my hips, gathering it in my hands. The slinky black fabric gliding against the soft flesh of my thighs, I lift up ass up a bit exposing the red lace of my panties. My breath hitches watching Taylor watch me all the while his eyes darting back to the road ahead. He is risking my safety right now and something about that adds to this moment, he is breaking one of his very own rules to keep me safe. Also knowing that the rest of the team is in an SUV behind is amping up the tension.

I reach up and pull on the pins holding up my twist and let my hair fall in large curls around my shoulders. This has the desired effect because I hear him growl and the limo swerves just a bit. I have become a master at foreplay because really that is all Taylor and I have, it's about whispered words, lingering touches, hidden moments, shared smiles from across the room. All the little things matter because when all is said and done we are both left wanting.

The first time he made me come I was fully clothed, pressed between the wall of my bedroom and his amazing body. We had argued most of the night about the status of our relationship; I finally stormed away after telling him that I loved him. Not as the child that had known him before but the woman I was now. He followed me, kissed me long and hard without holding back, leaving me breathless and wanting. His fingers gently rubbing me between the fabric of my yoga pants, his soft voice in my ear saying all sorts of sweet and dirty things, but what really did it was when he said how much he wanted me. I had always had a childhood crush on Taylor and Franco and Gregory, all of my father's men at one time or the other was worthy of my crushing. I was sixteen for crying out loud, surrounded by attractive men in thousand dollar suits packing a gun.

When I went off to college Taylor did not come with me. I begged to live in the dorms like a regular freshman, and Taylor would not have fit in. My father hired Adina Aziz, a former member of the Israeli Army. She was beautiful, sweet, funny and a complete and total badass. Adina was twenty three and looked like a co-ed, caramel colored skin, long amber hair that she always pulled into a ponytail. She never got the punch line of a joke right no matter how hard she tried and she couldn't dance, not an ounce of rhythm but she was loyal and fearless. She didn't draw any unwanted attention unless some drunk asshole grabbed me and then it was game over, your nose was broken and your balls was aching. God I fucking miss her.

"Ana baby, where did you go?" His voice snaps me out of the memory as I rub the pain out of my shoulder.

"I uh, was just thinking about Adina." I pull my dress back down over my legs suddenly feeling a chill.

"Ana…"

"Don't… I'm sorry I ruined your game…"

"You didn't… what made you think of her…"

"I think about her every day… I miss her."

"I know you do. I always trusted her with you. I don't think I would have gone on vacation that week if she wasn't there to take my place."

"The only thing worse than her being gone, is if it would have been you that day… Taylor… I…" The tears well in my eyes, the overwhelming emotions of the night have finally taken their toll and all I can do is ball like a fucking baby. I curl my legs up under me and huddle into the corner of the seat. I hear Taylor trying to soothe me but his words don't penetrate the wall of sadness that has formed around me. It all unfolds in my mind's eye… The sound of geese flying overhead in a perfect V, the smell of fresh cut grass, bunches of balloons floating in the air, Kate beside me laughing and then this searing pain tearing though me like my body was set on fire. After that it's screaming and blood, my body flat on the ground Sawyer laying on top of me telling me to stay down.

"Sawyer, pulling over… Bluebell is upset… Adina happened… Pulling over, get the boys ready." The limo swerves over and comes to a stop and before I know it Taylor is sliding onto the seat next to me and I am in his arms. My body is shaking uncontrollably and he takes off his jacket wraps it's around my body and pulls me on to his lap as I sob. Sawyer sits in the driver's seat and in thirty seconds we are on the move again, a well-oiled machine.

"Shhh, darlin… It's going to be ok. Let it out… You are safe now… just breathe… I love you... Let it go… No one will hurt you when I am around…" He keeps saying the same things over and over, soothing me like a lullaby. I feel myself drift off, my head in the crook of his neck, he smells like soap and detergent, leather and sweat, home and happiness. We make it home and he carries me from the car to the elevator, Sawyer beside us.

"What are you doing Taylor? You are risking everything…"

"She is worth it…"

"I hope so, because if Ray finds out you are done."

"I know…but I love her… You won't say anything."

"No, no I won't… But I won't lie, if he asks. I won't lie."

"If he finds out Luke, he won't as any questions."

Taylor carries me though the house and up the stairs to my bedroom, He places me gently at the foot of the bed and kneels before me running his hands up and down the length of my satin cloaked thighs.

"You okay? Do you want to take a shower?" I have no energy for words, all I can do is nod my head yes. He takes off my shoes and mumbles something about not understanding how I walk in them. He pulls me up and kisses me gently, his lips whispering against mine. He tugs the dress away from my body and it falls to the floor, I hear him exhale sharply and I smile, the red panties worked just like I hoped they would. Score two Ana.

"Sit down sugar…"

He takes a step back and begins the process of removing his suit. I have watched him do this a million times by now and it never loses its impact. Even this is methodical. He loosens his tie and then carefully folds it, placing it into the pocket of his jacket, which he promptly removes and lays over the chair of my dressing table. His black leather gun holster it next. He remove the gun first, clicks on it's safety. He walks to his side of the bed and places it in the drawer of the night stand. Next he removes his ankle holster and that gun also goes in the drawer. His pulls his crisp white shirt from the band of his pants and starting at the top unbuttons the shirt. Now he is just in his wife beater and pants, his belt undone and this is my favorite part, watching him fold his pants. Always on the crease, and laying them on the seat of the chair. He pulls the wife beater off and throws it to the floor and he is before me in just his black boxer briefs. His pale skin pulled over his muscle and sinew, the perfect about of golden hair across his chest and down his belly leading to the growing bulge that I can't tear my eyes away from. He extends his hand and I take it without thought as he leads me into the bathroom.

"What happened tonight, I haven't seen you like that is a very long time?" He pulls of his briefs, but his question keeps my focus on my pain and not his penis. Score 2 Taylor. He walks to the shower and turns on three of the six showerheads and sets the temperature just how I like it, a few degrees shy of third degree burns. The room quickly starts to fill with steam and I can't wait to be under the stream of water.

"I don't know… They were playing Billie Holiday tonight… Adina loved her… maybe that was the final straw… my dad and I fighting, the stress of the party, the sex show… it was a hard night…" I shimmy put of my panties and toss them in the hamper.

"Sawyer knows about us Ana…"

"I know. I heard. I'm sorry Taylor… I wish things were different."

"Come on let's get you showered and into bed, put an end to this fucking day."

"It wasn't all bad; I mean it started off with such promise…" He raises an eyebrow and pulls me with him into the shower. The hot water hits my back and I moan at the tension starts to release from my body. I reach up and wrap my arm around Taylor's neck, leaning in for a much needed kiss.

"Nope, none of that tonight sugar. You are no condition…"

"Jason, you are exactly what I need, please I need to come…"

"Turn around…"

"Jason…"

"Turn around Ana…" I do as I am told, the hot water pulsing against my breasts, I tip my head under my palms flat against the cold marble wall leaning in. I can hear his steady breathing in my ear as he pushes my hair aside and kisses the back of my neck. "Just relax darlin' just relax." I feel the lathered scrunchie run up and down the length of my back, over my ass, my thighs and calves. His pace is slow, as he repeats the process once and then again. His hands wander to the front of my body, tenderly taking bot of my aching breasts in his hands. I lean my ass back against him, the length of his shaft hard against my rounded flesh. He spins me around, a smile on his face and before I know what is happening he has lifted me up high, my legs on his shoulders, his forearms supporting my weight under my ass, my back pressed against the wall as the rainwater shower head beats down on us both. His intentions clear the moment his mouth makes contact with my clit. HOLY FUCKING SHIT! This is something new. I am completely at his mercy, his head firmly plated between my legs, his mouth sucking harder and harder. I fist my fingers into his hair, pulling and tugging until he groans. I feel suspended, weightless, and free. When I come it is with such ferocity that I can't even put it into words. I release every bit of angst and tension, every harsh word and bad memory seeps from my body and down the drain. I am shaking from the aftershocks of my orgasm Taylor gently kisses my sex, and my inner thighs.

"Was that what you needed sugar?"


	5. Chapter 5

I wake up for the second morning in a row with Taylor's arms wrapped around me, his warm breath in the crook of my bare neck and the faint sound of him snoring. I feel at peace because Taylor is here with me. He keeps me calm and even and steady. He keeps my feet where they belong, firmly on the ground and I think I do the same for him. Taylor never really talks about his past but seeing all that he has seen and lived through, Iraq and Afghanistan. All the things that he refuses to talk about, all the things that have made him who he is. We are the sum of parts, our experiences, and our moments large and small. The shake and bake of life, and I wouldn't change him. To me he is perfect.

When I graduated and took over as Vice President of Steele Securities, Taylor stepped back into the role of my number one and Adina became the number two. They worked well together and with both of them at my back I never felt safer, despite the fury that was going on around me. To be honest none of it really felt real to me until that day Adina died, it was all a game that I was not playing. A game played by men far away. It was only after she was gone and the dust settled that I understood who I was, what my place was in the world. It was only then when I understood how close these men were. Fact: I was a target for many and that my choices affected those around me. Fact: Adina died keeping me safe. Fact: Taylor, Sawyer, Ryan would all do the same exact thing. Fact: The game only ends when I stop breathing.

My security team were prepared at any moment to give their life for mine, men and women who had survived battles and war, to die protecting a spoiled twenty year old who insisted on having her birthday party in a public place, just so she could be like everyone else. Only I was not like everyone else. I was Raymond Steele's daughter, he was the number one target and I was number two. Everything changed, I changed. I grew up twenty years in two days and I put away childish things standing over Adina's lifeless body. The only thing that brought me any comfort was Taylor and thankfully that is still the case.

I remember the moment I knew I loved him; I was coming home from the Marine's Ball, one of my favorite events of the year. I spent the entire night dancing with one hunky marine after another. Taylor was acting like a jerk all night, short clipped non sentences; he took Sawyers head off for no good reason. He blamed his bad mood on the Secret Service and all their interference and I actually believed that was it. It was only later as we drove through Washington he grumbled on and on about how I wasn't a rag doll and should be passed around from dirty Marine to dirty Marine. It was then, in the back seat of a White House issued SUV when it hit me like a freight train.

"Morning Darlin, feeling better?" He kisses my forehead and holds me tighter, his long sinewy legs wrapping around my hip, coaxing me closer. His eyes are half closed, his hair rumpled, the soft blonde stubble on his face glinting in the morning light. I swear I could look at his face for a hundred years and never get bored.

For an instant Christian's face flashes in my brain, his haunting steely eyes, they are so full of rage and hate and yet so devoid of any real emotion. I guess taking a man's life regardless of the circumstances can do that to a person. "Ana, answer me are you feeling better."

"Uh…what…I uh…I'm not sure…" I brush my lips against his stubbled chin and inhale deeply. "I haven't felt like that in a while." It had been months since I broke down like that, actually it all stopped the moment Taylor and I got together. All the panic attacks and tears, the worry and sleepless nights vanished. I kept a brave front to the worls, to my friends and to my father but when I was alone in the night, or even on the ride home from the office I would allow myself to break and feel. Taylor was the only one to ever really bear witness.

"Maybe you should go back to Flynn…"

"I knew you were going to say that. I am fine Jason; it was the first flashback in months after a very long exhausting day. I am fine. I am not ever sure it was a flashback, I am going to chalk it up to PMS." I threw out the period grenade, fail proof way to end an unwanted conversation with a man. Unfortunately I pulled the pin, but it was a dud.

"You're not fine. You didn't see what I saw last night Ana… I can't…see you go through that again. Please make an appointment with Flynn. "

"Okay… Okay. I will… I will have Andrea set it up…Ok… I promise…" Sex, I will distract with sex. "I think I owe you one or two…" I reach down and grab his splendid morning erection, stroking it gently relishing the small hiss that escapes between his teeth. Last night he was so protective, so unwilling to receive after he gave and gave…and gave...

"I think it was three…" He kisses the corner of my mouth running his thumb over my cheek.

"Honestly it was four…" I bury my head in his neck and chuckle. Waking up with him is simply the best. This is the shit I have been reading about in books for years. This is a movie moment if I have ever had one, I can hear the music swell in my head. Maybe a silly Natasha Bedingfield song about butterflies and rainbows. I kiss him gently and suck on his lower lip, morning breath be dammed. I grab him tighter, increasing my force and speed over his ever growing dick. I know what my guy likes.

"Fuck Ana… . …"I can feel him twitch and pulse beneath my fingers and I get lost in him. When it is just us, the world far away Taylor and I are perfect. He understands me, I don't have to explain or pretend, I can just be me. I can take off my mask, speak in my regular voice and be Ana. I suck on the sweet spot of his neck as his hands snake around my body and grab my ass, kneading the soft flesh in his massive hands.

"TAYLOR! ANA!" There is a loud bang at my door as Sawyer's voice penetrates our quiet perfect moment. We both jolt up, startled by the intrusion. "Jason, The Iron Fist in on his way up!"

"Fuck…" Taylor jumps out of bed, his erection bobbing as he frantically runs around the room collecting his things. I am stunned and confused and worst of all clueless. "Ana you dad is on his way up. Get dressed…" Panic surges through my body, I leap up from the bed and Taylor and I collide, he is half dressed and I am naked. The left side of my body feels like I have just been hit by a Mack truck as I fall flailing backwards on to the bed.

"Shit baby are you ok?" I burst out into a hysterical fit of laughter, brought on by an extreme reaction to stress. Taylor starts laughing too. He looks frenzied, his clothes flung over his shoulder. All the care he took the night before folding them all for naught. His erection is making a pop tent of his boxer briefs as he stands there holding his guns.

"I am fine… You better go… before the "Iron Fist" gets here…" He extends his free hand and pulls me off the bed, kissing my lips quickly.

"Code names…"

"Ahhhh I see… and I am Bluebell?"

"That you are…I will see you in a few minutes…" With that he is gone and the frenzy leaves with him. I look a wreck, my hair a curly mess from sleeping on it wet. I also smell wonderfully of Taylor so another shower is a necessity. My father can wait, god knows I have. I take my time, shaving my legs and conditioning my hair. I pull on a pair of short bike shorts and a running tank. A) Because it will piss my dad off and B) Because Taylor will love it. I pull my wet hair back into a high ponytail, pull on my runners and grab my phone and I pad down the stairs.

* * *

My father is sitting on the long taupe section sofa looking out onto the city view in the early morning light. He looks older and younger at the same time and I have become acutely aware that we are all getting older, things are changing so quickly and I don't want to waste time fighting with the people I love. Taylor is standing off to the corner with Regan, my father's number one guy. His face impassive but his erection is still pressing through his pants. I know my outfit is not helping. We lock eyes and he just shakes his head.

"Hey Dad…" He turns and smiles until he realized what I am wearing and scowls like only Raymond Steele can.

"Morning Baby Girl… Come sit we need to talk…" I sit across from him on the sofa and pull my legs under me. My walls are up and my guns are loaded. I am standing my ground. Dad is the Mexican Army and I am the Alamo. Wait…Did that end well or the Alamo I mean?

He takes a deep breath and rubs the palm of his hand over his chin, if we were playing poker this would be his tell of a bad hand. "I came here to apologize."

HOLY FUCK! I was not expecting that at all. I was expecting patented Ray shaming/scolding. This is a trick, a bait and switch. Stay Strong Ana… Ana-mo. "You were right, about me and Miranda, and missing your wonderful speech. I had the videographer send me over the digital file. Honey you were spectacular… I was in awe and was kicking myself that I was not there live and in person. I know I have missed so much of your life, and looking back I regret that." His voice cracks and his eyes are glassy. I am stunned; my father has never said he was sorry no less cried.

"Daddy…"

"No, let me finish… You were right, what you said about Miranda, I ended it last night. She was too young and too eager; I think I lost my mind for a few months. Do you forgive me?"

"Yes of course I do." He opens his arms wide and I fly into him, not remembering the last time he held me.

"Good, now go put some clothes on, I am meeting Jose for breakfast do you want to come?"

"Oh. I would but I can't I am delivering the flowers from last night to a few shelters today. Rain check?"

"Sure, next week?"

"Totally…"

"Taylor a moment please, in the Situation Room, I want a debrief of last night."

* * *

"Miss Steele. There is a Mr. Christian Grey here to see you." Oh fuck, he is here. I have been looking forward to this appointment all week and dreading it at the same time. I read the file at least three more time, looking for what I have no fucking clue. He was in a Massachusetts prison for six long years, far away from his family and friends. How does someone go from Harvard one day and a cell block the other? How do you come back to the world you knew, where nothing has really changed and you have?

With a shaky hand I press the intercom button and tell Andrea to send him in. I stand and pull on the hem of my suit jacket and then pinch my cheeks like I am in Gone with the fucking Wind or something. He sweeps into the room and I can see Andrea's bemused expression and flushed cheeks as she closes the door behind him. My god he looks good today. His black jeans stretch over his long lean legs, I can't see it but I bet a million dollars that his ass looks fantastic. The white linen shirt, un-tucked. Black leather jacket and black work boots. He is holding a tube full of his plans and a black leather portfolio. He smiles a panty dropping smile and extends his hand.

"Hello Ana… Nice to see you again…" He is reeking of insincerity; not on purpose just being nice is not really him. I give his hand a firm shakes and of course like always my body quivers, traitor!

"Cut the crap Grey." He scowls at my words and releases my hand quickly. "There is no reason to be nice Christian; we both know you're not."

"True, very true. Somehow I think you like me that way." God his voice is so fucking sexy, like every word, every syllable is dripping in testosterone. He slides of his jacket and rests it on the back of the chair. I catch a whiff of him and it makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Why is this happening? I am not this swoony, blushing, hot for bad guy girl.

"I don't like you at all. Have a seat and show me what you got." He raises his eyebrow and purses his lips and I can feel my cheeks begin to burn hot lava red. "THE PLANS! I mean show me the plans."

"Yes of course, the plans… That's right you have already seen what I… got…" He opens the tube slowly gliding his hand over it in a suggestive way, his eyes locked on mine.

"I know what you are doing and it is very unprofessional."

"And what am I doing exactly?" I sit back in my chair and cross my arms around my chest, shifting my hips in my seat as I cross my legs. Ok, I'll admit it, I am wet. God Dammit! For a moment I imagine saying something scandalous and Christian flinging me over the desk, fucking me hard but as quickly as the thought came, thankfully it went. Game face Ana, CEO game face. He is just a man, like any other. Focus and dominate. This is what you do.

"The plans Mr. Grey. I have another meeting." I look at my watch impassively, a 1922 Cartier Tank a gift from my father on my twenty second birthday. He says nothing more and opens the plans with a flourish at my desk. I stand from my chair and walk around to see what he is seeing.

"I know you said that you wanted a game room, bit that felt a little juvenile. No offence. I thought more a lounge, more upscale and relaxing. Yes there will be places for gaming here and here." He drags his long finger over the plans; his voice is filled with something I have not heard before. Excitement. "And then here I am going to have custom sofas build, see…" I lean over, my shoulder brushing against his, as I lean both palms flat on the desk. I see his body tense and he clears his throat.

"Why are the bathrooms all the way over here?" I reach across his body and point to the far left corner of the blueprint.

"Uh… plumbing…I thought about moving it but the timeframe you want won't allow for it."

"What is this?" I lift up a computer generated 3D drawing of the space and point out an enormous floating fixture hanging from the ceiling.

"Ahhh, that is something I have been thinking about for a while. It's a suspension light installation. We saved money not moving the plumbing, I thought you might want to try something different."

"It's beautiful, Is it glass?"

"No plexi to keep the weight down."

"And you really think you can do this suspension light installation in the time frame we have scheduled?"

"I do yes."

"These are very good, I was prepared to dislike them to be perfectly honest but I am impressed. They are approved and you and your crew can start on Monday." He stands up tall and straightens his broad shoulders, there is a hit of a smile on his lips and it lights up his entire face. I start to make my way back to my seat when his fingers wrap around the bend of my elbow holding me in place.

"Not so fast. I have some other plans to show you…" He pulls out a stack of papers from his portfolio and my eyes go wide when I realize what they are. "I know you gave me this job as a favor to Elliott, I also know he owes you a library in return. I pay all my debts however they were incurred…" I leaf through the drawings and they are specular, just what I always wanted but couldn't put into words. The clean lines of floor to ceiling bookcases, in a stark glossy white against the rough edge of my existing brick wall, five inch moldings capping them off. Some have glass doors, perfect for my first editions. On one comes to mind as I look over the drawings,perfection.

"Christian these are…perfect…"

"Thank you, I figured it's a one man job, three or four weekends should do it. I already ordered the glass and supplies. Is tomorrow a good day to start?"

"Absolutely, I have been waiting on this for years."

"Well wait no more…Miss…Steele…"


	6. Chapter 6

Why can't I get Christian Grey out of my mind? Sure he is drop dead, make the hair on the back of your next, and take your breath away gorgeous. But I have been around attractive men my whole life and really they have never had _this_ kind of effect on me. I just don't understand this odd attachment I have formed with him. Not only is it totally one sided but it is completely undeserved. He is an asshole, a rude and arrogant jerk, a felon and a liar, a fucker of women and a destroyer of souls. And that is just what I know so far. But for some unexplainable reason he speaks to me, there is something in his voice and his smell and his touch that just fucking speaks to me and I wish it didn't. I wish I never met him or knew of his existence. I wish I never would have walked in on him and that awful woman because since that moment I have wanted to be her. Well not her exactly… but with him… only not like bent over in a laundry room…this is so confusing and so unlike me.

Over the years I have had my crushes, I mean who doesn't but the only man I have ever truly wanted was Taylor, and now I think I want Christian too. Maybe it's because I have been around so few men that weren't under my father employ, or maybe because does not treat me with kid gloves and formality. What I do know is that he is dangerous. Danger is a huge draw and I crave something that I don't have, I crave what everyone is trying to protect me from. He and Taylor could not be more different, polar opposites in their looks and attitudes. Maybe that is part of it too. Christian would fuck me, and Taylor will not, at least not yet and it is so frustrating.

I don't know what I want anymore, I feel like everything has spiraled and my control has vanished. My life is planned down to the minute; every move is well measured and formulated. I hate it, I hate every fucking second. The time I feel like myself are these few stolen moments With Taylor that have been nonexistent this week and I don't know who I am anymore. All I do know is that Christian is going to be around me day in and day out, he is going to be in my apartment for fucks sake and I have to put whatever it is I am feeling aside and try to be his friend or at least not his adversary. Our paths will cross; the members of his family are my closest friends. I will see him so there is no point on making things harder and more complicated.

And then there is Taylor and the guilt I feel just about my thoughts overwhelming. I think he can sense it, he is a man built on gut and instinct. Taylor has been acting strangely all week. Even Sawyer has noticed the change in his demeanor and asked me if I knew what was going on. I shrugged it off like all was well but it wasn't even a good lie.

He is more distant and removed than usual. Taylor has not touched me other than a passing kiss when he is sure no one is looking for the entire week. My bed has been empty, night after night and every morning I wake up alone. I feel his physical and emotional distance and fear it is the end of us. Maybe he knows I have been unfaithful in my mind and possibly even in my heart. Maybe my father almost catching us was too close of a call. Taylor stands to lose it all, his job and livelihood, his good name in the very tight knit community we work in and we both know that my father is a vindictive man. I know that Taylor loves me, I don't doubt that but is he in love with me and does he love me enough to risk his future, his daughter's future. Of that I am not sure.

Another week is over and I have survived week two and what a week it was. There was in uprising in Bolivia and we sent a team down there to retrieve some heiress and her friends on a drug binge. Fucking idiots the lot of them. Two of my guys were injured and nearly killed because she couldn't leave without her fucking Chihuahua. I love animals just as much as the next person, but if you really loved your dog you wouldn't have left him in a drug den in the first place.

Elliot and his crew broke ground on the Shelter, they also broke a hidden water main or something so we are already behind and the new building in the compound is finally taking shape but that too is behind. My father is going nuts over that. There are so many things to manage and plan, so many variables, and room for error. I have to be on top of it all, everything and anything, all day and every day. And it is only week two. I wonder if I have the strength to endure, and to do this. Maybe I am too young and to green. Maybe I am not as smart as I think I am. But know that if I fail the world will be watching, waiting to pounce on all that we have worked for, that I have worked for and I simply can't allow that. I have plans, far reaching plans for my future and I can't allow a moment of weakness to derail them.

Word of my speech at the Coping Together event has gotten around and because of that I am speaking at the White House next week, a dinner with the First Lady to raise money for the upcoming election. It was a shock and an honor considering Washington D.C. is my end game in all of this. I have million things on my plate and I need this like a hole in the head but when the First Lady calls you personally and asks you for help you say yes. The preparation for is insane, trying to coordinate the Secret Service with my security team, tense is not even the word to describe it. Maybe that is why Taylor has been so strange because flying to DC is a huge change of plans.

As usual, Taylor walks into my office at exactly six and asks if I am ready to leave. The tension in his body is palpable, his fists are clenched and his jaw is tight. I sit back in my chair and just look at him, not saying a word, my mind racing with all the things I want to say, words that will never leave the port of my head.

"Ana…" His voice is dripping in contrition and my heart drops into my stomach. This is it; he is going to end this. Dread and fear take hold of my heart because this is the moment I have feared since our very first "moment" together. We both stand there locked in a scared silence, neither one of us wanting to say another word. I finally can't take it another second because the pain in my chest is too great.

"Do you want to end this?" The words sound like a foreign tongue falling from my mouth, words I have never wanted to say. He says nothing, a battle raging on, for the first time very I can see it written across his face. He takes a few steps closer and sits down in the chair across from me. I hold my breath, my fingers grasped on the arms of my shiny new desk chair and wait for the axe to fall. He rubs his hand over the back of his neck and exhales loudly before looking me in the eye again, a small smile just breaking the corner of his lips.

"No Darlin', I don't. I wish I did though." I feel relief flow through my body but then it hits me that he wishes he wanted to end it and honesty that is worse.

"Do you want me to end it?" My voice quivers and cracks at the thought of an actual end because I know he would have to be reassigned. I couldn't see him every day and not touch him. I couldn't have him close and watching over me risking his life. "We could use Sophie as an excuse. More time with her…" I wipe an errant tear off my cheek and try to hold my shit together. He rests his elbows on my desk, his head in his hands and groans loudly.

"No… no... I can't not be with you. We just have to be more careful."

"I've missed you… these days and nights I have missed you. Things don't make sense when you are not close Taylor… but I don't want to ruin your life, maybe it would be best if we just ended now. I love you enough to let you go."

"And I love you enough to do anything I have to just to be with you Ana." I can feel the longing for him coursing through every inch of my body. We stand together and in an instant his arms are wrapped around me and for the first time all week I am able to breathe. I mean I really truly breathe. He is the air and the oxygen that only I can inhale. I wrap my hands around his waist as he presses me against my desk, forcing me to sit on top of it. His eyes are red hot with fire and I want to be burned. I week without him and my body is craving his touch. His mouth brushes against mine, tentatively at first and it confuses me because I can still feel his inner battle.

"Taylor…Look at me." I take his face in my hands, touching my nose to his. "In a year none of this will matter, your contract will be up and this will all be a bad memory. In a year we will have it all."

"In a year I am going to marry you Ana…make you mine." Everything stops at his words, he has never said anything like this before and my heart begins to swell in my chest.

"You're going to marry me…"

"Yup, married… You and me, Soph and a few kids maybe. I have been thinking about it all week. I know that I am too old for you and that I have no right to want you the way I do. I know you have all these far reaching dreams. But I don't care. I want you to be my wife."

"Jason are you asking me?" My heart is screaming yes but a small voice in my head is hoping that he is not asking right now.

"No, not like this… no… but the promise is there Ana. I love you and when this fucking contract is up I won't care who knows it." Our mouths collide and all the doubt disappears, the battle has been won but not the war. He wraps my legs around his hips and shifts his weight against me with purpose and intent, his core grinding into mine. "You are meeting Jose for dinner at seven right?" he asks me between kisses on my neck and chest. I giggle a response. "That gives us fifteen minutes before we have to leave Ana… what can I do to you in fifteen minutes?"

"I think the better question is what can we do to each other?"

He slides his hands under my skirt and yanks down my panties, licking his fingers and then slowing pushing them inside of me. I clench around him urging him deeper. I lean forward and tug on this belt as his unzips his pants and reach in with greedy hands and slowly run my fingers up and down his length.

"I have missed you… fuck Ana I have missed you…" His fingers move in me, touching all the right places. He knows me so well, when his thumb flicks over my clit and can't contain the moan that escapes my lips knowing that Andrea is on the other side of the door. He does it over and over and I bite my lower lip to stifle the sounds. He grabs my hands at the wrist, and pushes me back flat against the desk, holding my hands over my head. "One day… this is going to be mine." He slides a third finger inside of me and my hips buck off the desk. "One day I am going to fuck you so hard that you won't be able to walk for days after wards. One day I am going to make love to you all night, until you whimper in my arms. One day Darlin…One day…" I come over and over at his words, his fingers unrelenting. Hooking and twisting inside of me, pain and pleasure mixing until I feel like I am going to pass out. "One day…"

* * *

My legs are still weak as I walk through the restaurant to José's open arms. His smiles broadly and holds me tightly. I haven't seen him for a few weeks and he is a sight for sore eyes. He releases me and shakes hands with Taylor, again they speak non-verbally.

"You're late, you are never late. I was worried something happened." He pulls out my chair, always a gentleman and then sits down beside me.

"Just a busy day is all… Sorry to make you worry."

"It's okay just next time call or something; I ordered you a glass of wine. You are gonna need it when I drop this bomb on you." He lays his hand over mine and a feeling of impending dread takes over. "Two bombs actually."

"What Jose tell me!" He takes a long sip of his beer and points at my untouched glass of wine.

"Drink first and then I'll tell you." I look to Taylor for an inkling of what was going on but he just shrugs his shoulders. I lift up the large glass of red, taking a big gulp not even tasting it. Jose looks at me with eyes wide, urging me to take another sip, which I do and then a long deep breath.

"So?"

"Ok… so this is what happened. Are you ready?"

"Yes I was ready when you said bomb the first time." I know this is major because his hands are flying around a mile a minute. His hands are expressive in so many ways; the melodic way he moves them when he is talking about art or music, or today they move with wild abandon. They are flecked with scars, cuts and burns from his sculpture work and welding. He has a tattoo on the fleshy bit between his thumb and index finger, Arte y Aire. Art and Air. I remember the day got it, the same day I got mine.

"I needed to talk to your dad about something, so I just stopped by the house like I always do… I figured I could see my mom and talk to your dad, two birds one stone. Regan let me in… we talked for a bit… anyway… I went to the office to find your dad and… well…" He starts shaking his head in disbelief and drinks the last third his pint in one gulp, waving the waitress over.

"Jesus Christ Jose!"

"Sir can I get you another beer?" The perky blond, flips her hair as she speaks and smiles broadly.

"Yes please and another red for the lady… and some menus please." She walks away, his eyes on her ass and I punch him in the shoulder. "Ouch Ana, Jesus!"

"Finish the story you jerk!"

"Yeah, uh so I walk into the office and it was oddly quiet. Your dad is usually yelling at someone or watching the monitors… but it was quiet and then I heard like - moaning." I sit up straight in my chair as small surge of panic fluttering in my chest.

"Oh my god was he hurt?"

"No… he wasn't in any pain… he was fucking…" I belly drops along with my jaw and for the first time in my life I am rendered speechless.

"Jose ewww… Why are you telling me this?"

"Because he was fucking my mom…" I drink the rest of my wine in one huge swallow and slam the glass on the table. Taylor and I lock eyes and even he is shocked.

"No way… Maya?! Noooo… really." He nods and thankfully the waitress brings our second round. "Did they see you?"

"Yes then did. It was horrible. The worst moment of my life…"

"This was today?"

"A few short hours ago… My eyes are still burning…" I burst out laughing unable to get the images out of my head, just the look on my father face alone. "Apparently they are in love… that's what you dad said anyway. That he has always loved her…"

"I actually believe that."

"Yeah me too."

"Holy Shit, dad and Maya after all these years. You and I could be siblings yet Jose."

"That was the vibe they were giving me actually. He dumped that Miranda person real quick."

"Wow… you were right that was a bomb… but a happy one, we agree on that right?"

"Yes agreed. But I don't think the second bomb is going to go over as well."

"Well tell me…"

"I joined the Marines." My blood goes cold in my body and everything stops. The thought of my beautiful boy in harm's way is just too much. He is a soft, kind soul and artist and a lover not a fighter.

"Jose, no." I can feel the tears well up in my eyes and I grab his hand. "Why?"

"Carino, don't be upset. You know I have been talking about this for years. I want the training and the experience. I want to really work for your dad and maybe even you some day." I release his hand and literally have to hold my head up with both of mine. Another person I love in harm's way, José of all people. He is the heart and soul of us all. Since we were kids he has always been my shadow, my partner in crime, my playmate, protector, and friend.

"I am very proud of you Jose, but I am all really mad…really really mad."

"I figured you would be."

"When do you leave?"

"I go to Camp Pendleton the end of next week to report." I run my hands through the curly golden mop of his hair. I remember when we were kids how I dyed it with grape Kool-aid and Maya made him cut it all off. He leans in to my hand and wraps his fingers around my wrist.

"They are going to make you cut this you know…" He nods sheepishly and he could be ten years old when his green eyes lock with mine.

"Yeah I know…Anyway no matter, ladies love a guy in uniform…" I look over at Taylor who is staring right at me.

"Ladies do…"

* * *

I tossed and turned all night thinking about Jose and military life. I know it is going to change him that is what basic training is all about. Breaking down the boy that goes in and turning him in to a lethal man. Sending them off into the world to make it a better place, only the die or get maimed in the process. I can't tell you how many military hospitals I have visited over the years, rooms filled with bits and pieces of men and woman who went in with dreams of heroism and duty to one's country and now are left shells of the people they once were. You don't see it on T.V. or even in the papers what becomes of the men and women who give all day in and day out. How do they live and manage? How do they get through the day to day of life? They don't want pity, they don't need it. But they do need help. I can't bear to think about Jose like that and I make a silent vow to pull whatever strings I can to keep him safe. I mean hanging with the First Lady must be good for something.

I pull myself out of bed and manage to make it to the gym for my morning run, wishing I could be outside in the air. I run for a bit but I keep getting distracted, my mind is scattered in a million places. There is work, Jose, my father and Maya, Taylor, Adina, and of course Christian Grey. As I run, Christian is most likely in my apartment starting construction on my library and right now despite all that is buzzing in my brain he is the biggest bee.

Taylor and Sawyer are in the kitchen sipping coffee and eating English muffins. It's strange that Sawyer knows about us now because when I walk past Taylor he holds out his English muffin offering me a bite, which I take and he kisses me on the forehead while I chew. It's a small thing I know, but to me it was everything.

"How was your workout?"

"Not good, I couldn't focus."

"Jose?"

"That and a million other things…"

"He is going to be fine. Your dad will make sure of it. That Christian Grey is here to do the book shelves. I don't like this guy Ana…"

"I know you don't and based on his file you have good reason to feel that way but again I am doing this for Elliott and honestly Christian too, he deserves a fresh start.

"I know… but I don't like it…"

"What time are you leaving to get Soph?"

"I am leaving in twenty minutes. I should be back by five if you want to go get dinner or something."

"Dinner? Like you and me sitting at a table enjoying a meal together?"

"Yes, you know like a date. A normal regular date with a .45 of course." I could cry, that is how happy I feel at this moment.

"Sawyer look away…"

"What why?"

"Because I am about to French kiss your boss and I doubt you want to see that." Both men chuckle as I hurl myself at Taylor wrapping my legs around his waist and attacking his mouth. His hands cradle my ass and I feel lighter then air. "Dinner sounds perfect. I will see you at five." I hop off of him and grab an apple and make my way down the hall to my library and Christian Grey.


	7. Chapter 7

Hello everyone!

So I was really unhappy with how incomplete chapter 7 felt. So I reworked and extended it. If you reviewed before you will have to re-review as a guest. Please review and include your pen names so I know who you are! I really want to hear your feedback as we learn more about CG's past and that night in the bar! I have added about 2000+ words so there is a lot to learn! It is unedited... but I made a promise to post tonight so... ignore any issues... sorry

I had some bad writers block, and it was the support from you guys that really kept me going so to all of you that reached out to me on facebook, twitter and Tumblr thank you sooo much...

I plan to post a new chapter for at least one of my stories every Sunday between 9 and 10 EST... SO this week is security... Next week maybe Magic of Fifty Shades... That one has been neglected...

So please review, review review!

XOXO PPP

* * *

I take a large bite into the crisp cool apple, I bit of way more then I can chew and the juice drips down my throat as I struggle to swallow it. I realize that this is a metaphor for my life. I have always bit off more then I can chew, and I always struggle but somehow I dominate and rise up. I only hope that this winning streak keeps up because I can see the road stretched out before me will not be an easy one. The next five years will shape and mold all of my plans and ambitions. By the time I am twenty seven I will have to make a huge choice and I can already see that it will not be an easy one. But I don't have to worry about that, at least not today. All I have is this apple in my hand and Christian Grey in my apartment. And that is enough for now.

I feel this pang of anxiety and fear deep in my belly. I am way too excited that he is here and for the life of me I wish I wasn't. I wish he didn't have this hold on me. I wish I never would have met him or touched him. I wish I never would have danced with him and felt oddly safe in his arms. _No, stop! Ana, pull it together._ I keep reminding myself that he is an asshole. I repeat it over and over in my head until it sounds like a Buddhist chant.

_Christian Grey is an asshole… NAM - MYO - HO - REN - GE – KYO… Christian Grey is an asshole… NAM - MYO - HO - REN - GE – KYO…Christian Grey is an asshole… NAM - MYO - HO - REN - GE – KYO…Christian Grey is an asshole…_

I am feeling very Tina Turner post Ike as I make my way towards the library. But the closer I get the more my body starts to hum with anticipation and I just don't understand why this man is capable of making me feel this way. What is it about Christian Grey that pulls at my body and mind in such a way that I lose sight of myself.

I know from is four inch file that he had a very hard childhood, very hard. His father Carrick got a girl pregnant the summer after their senior year of high school. A waitress in the restaurant they both worked in and he knew nothing of it. Carrick went off to Harvard on scholarship and this girl Ella, ran away (her father didn't take the news of her pregnancy well) and somehow ended up in California in the bowels of Los Angeles. I know that his mother was an addict and a stripper. She married a drug dealer Ricky Lauder, who had spent more of his adult life locked up than he ever did on the street. But in the small amount of time he was out Ricky managed to leave a lasting impression on Christian. I know that he was abused physically and emotionally. I know that Ella was found dead in a dumpster and her killer is still unknown, but is presumed to be her husband who hasn't been seen since. At the age of seven Christian was alone in the world, his mother murdered, his step father at large and his birth father out there somewhere. The only thing that tied them was the fact that Christian's birth certificate named Carrick as the father. I can't imagine what that must have been like for Carrick, married to Grace, Elliott entering kindergarten, just starting his practice and then one day getting phone call that he had a seven year old son.

There were photos of him, he was small and so frail looking. Underfed, under loved. His bruises and split lip were visible even in the grainy black and white police photos. I can't imagine how it must have been for him, so young and enduring so much. Coming into a new home with a father who is a stranger and a mother who is not your own. From his file I can tell it was rough. His early teen years are laundry list of drunken nights and fights, weed and coke arrests. Around sixteen the bad behavior stopped completely and his focus shifted to his studies. He was always a good student but then he became a great one. I wonder what happened to case the shift and set him on his path to that bar in Boston the night he took a man's life. I wonder about this man Jack Hyde. A fellow student of Christian was he just at the wrong place at the wrong time or was there more to the story. Most of the details are sealed and there was no trial. Christian plead guilty and cut a deal for Manslaughter. The press had a field day apparently looking for details because Carrick Grey is probably the most highly sought after divorce attorney in the country. There were whispers that he pulled some strings on his son's behalf, and I don't doubt that one bit. Carrick has a kind heart and a gentle soul but he is also a powerful man and he makes things happen.

Jack Hyde was an attractive man, but there was something in his eyes that looked a bit – evil. I have only seen this in another human once before and I hope I never see it again. Leila Williams, Christian's girlfriend at the time is another enigma. There were rumors and articles that she and Jack had an affair and an enraged Christian beat Jack to death. Leila is living in New York now; I find it funny how a poor struggling artist from Boston ended up with a free ride to Parsons in New York and over a million dollars in her bank accounts. But again, Carrick makes things happen.

My apartment is very open, and there are very few walls but this space that is my library is behind a large brick peninsula, my little corner in the world. I am surprised to see it has been surrounded in thick foggy sheets of plastic from floor to ceiling, I guess to keep the construction dust from getting everywhere. I can see the shadow of his body moving around as the sun lights casts his shadow against the plastic. His body, it is for lack of a better word perfection and I often find myself wondering what he looks like underneath is tie and tux or jeans and work boots. I hear the muffled sounds of Otis Redding singing I've Been Loving You and I chuckle because it is so not the music I expected him to listen too. Not by a long shot, he seems like a rock guy or something. But then again in a way, the tortured soul of the blues suits him. It fit his past and his present like a well-worn leather glove.

"What's so funny?" He calls out to me from behind the plastic, I jump surprised and I can't believe he heard me laughing over the music.

"Uh nothing." I manage to mutter out, my cheeks blazing red as I awkwardly push my way through a break in the plastic wall. I trip over a fucking hammer and go flying forward through the air. A moment before I hit the ground I feel his arm wrap around my waist pulling up like a rag doll. It all happens so fast because before I know it my chest is pressed against his and we are both breathless. We stand there for a moment in silence until our breathing is matched and somehow the world feels so small like he and I are the only two people in it. His eyes are their usual grey but from this closeness I can see a hint of navy blue around the edges. He smells of man and sweat and freshly cut wood and I am swooning, literally swooning in his arms.

"Jesus Christ Ana! Are you okay!" His voice is gruff and I am not sure if he is angry or concerned but I know one thing for sure - he is excited because I can feel his mammoth erection pressing into me. Oh my fucking god. He gently tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear and my entire body clenches at his tender touch. My hormones take over as I wiggle my hips against him, and I can hear the wisp of air release from his clenched teeth. I fight this urge to press my lips to his, to take his mouth and then I see Taylor in my head and guilt seeps into this moment. I want to pull away but I can't, I feel tethered to him in such a way that I can't bear to not have his hands on me. I take a deep breath to center myself and I picture him fucking Elena over a washer machine, I let myself drift back to that horrid moment and finally I am able to try and push myself away from him.

"I am fine. I'm fine, really. I fall all the time." He won't let me go; instead he takes a few steps forward, pushing me back until I am pressed against the rough surface of the brick wall, the mortar and grout scratching the exposed skin on my back. His hands are on my shoulders pinning me to the wall as he looks me over.

"You're shaking Ana. Just take a minute and breathe." He finally releases me and I relax against the wall doing my best to inhale and exhale but I am struggling just to do that. "I get now why you are surrounded my so much security, if just to save you from yourself."

I push myself off the wall and stand in front of him on my own two feet trying to reign in a wealth of emotions. I am feeling lust, guilt, pity, fear, anger, sadness, happiness and longing all at the same time and my mind can't catch up with my body. I am thinking about Taylor and how I am totally and completely betraying him with my mind and an overwhelming sadness takes over. I take two deep breaths and center myself, this is not who I am. This is not who I want to be. I pride myself of loyalty and fidelity. It is the basis of everything my father has taught me. I need to shift the way I see Christian and see him the same way I do Elliott or Jose. A friend.

"Very funny. You know sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." My attempt at snarky humor sadly does not work. He looks at me with pain etched on his face and I wish I could hear his thoughts.

"Well I am the lowest form of man so I guess that makes perfect sense." The candor in which he speaks is startling. His words burn though me because this is how he really sees himself and I realize all the arrogance and pomp is just a shell. It's all just a way for him to hide and honestly there is so much for this lost soul to hide from. The pity I feel for him must read on my face because he scowls and turns away from me, running his hands though his hair.

"Christian…" I want to reach out and touch him, I want to wrap my arms around him and soothe away his worries, not as a lover but as a friend. I want to somehow reconcile the man I know from the file to the man that stands before me today. He leans against an old metal ladder and to me he looks like a lost child.

"So… The ceilings are much higher than I expected and you have way more books then any one person should have, so I think we can take them up higher and I can build you one of those rolling ladder things. How does that sound?" He turns to be with a forlorn look on his face and suddenly my shelves seem like the furthest things from my mind, I nod absentmindedly.

"You are not the lowest form of man Christian." I speak before I can really think and his expression changes just a bit and I can see the anger swell within him.

"You don't know me Ana. That file you have can't even to begin to cast a light on what I really am." His entire body tightens and he grips the ladder with such intensity that his knuckles go white, I can feel his rage. I sit on the edge of my plastic covered desk and cross my arms against my chest, I am slowly shifting into my CEO mode and I hope it will work because right now I am just on the edge of being scared of him.

"So tell me…" I raise an eyebrow to challenge him and I hope he rises to it. He raises his eyebrow in kind and crosses his arms against his broad chest. I can see him relax but a tiny bit.

"Ana, come on. You hate me, I know you do. I get that I am here because you and Elliott have a cat and mouse thing going on but let's not pretend to be friends."

"First of all I don't hate you, I don't always like you but I don't hate you. And Elliott and I are just friends nothing more, he is love with Kate. And you are here because somehow you knew what I wanted my library to be even before I did. Okay, Elliott asked me to help you out but your plans and ideas were all good ones, really good ones. Had they not been, well you wouldn't be here right now. As far as us being friends, you need one. So… Tell me." He stands there for a moment, and I can tell he is just processing not only what I have just said but me as a person. His face softens and I think I may have gotten through by then he shakes his head, his lips forming a hard line and then his face goes blank and impassive.

"What I need to do is get started, so If you would please leave me to it." He pulls the plastic back, his face neutral the mask is on and there is nothing I can do to separate him from it.

"Fine. Whatever. Crestfallen I jump of the desk and walk past him with my head held high. "You know one day you are going to regret pushing everyone away. I just hope for your sake that a few of them stick around and wait for you."

"Fuck… Ana… Wait." He grabs me by my elbow and spins me around to face him. I am stunned by not only his touch but the speed of his movements. "Look, I just am not used to…I mean, my family cares but strangers caring. It hard for me. And I can't understand why you would even care. I have been such an asshole to you."

"Yeah you have, I have no clue why I care I just do." He looks at me and starts to slowly lean his head down to mine; I can feel his breath on my lips. My whole body is ringing like church bells on a Sunday morning but in the second before our lips touch I turn my head away.

"No, Christian. No. I'm sorry but that… you and me… can't happen. That is not WHY I care. I want us to be friends but no more."

"Because of Elena?"

"No, not really. You need a friend, I am sure there are plenty of people for you to fuck and I am not one of them. And because of me and because I am already in love with someone." He releases my arm and backs away, nodding as he goes.

"Oh, okay. I mean that makes sense. Friends. You would be my first one."

"Well I promise to be gentle."

"So what do "friends" do?" he smirks slightly and cocks his head. An unruly strand of hair falls over his left eye and I literally fight the urge to brush it away.

"We talk… about stuff…"

"Like the stuff that happened in Boston?" Okay, so I was know I was pushing and not being so covert in my quest for knowledge about his past, but it keep me up sometimes wondering what the hell happened.

"You don't have to tell me. I mean I read the file I got the jist but it does not all add up."

"No it doesn't. So who is this person you are in love with?" I froze, fuck. I hate that can't answer honestly and talk about Taylor without any repercussion.

"Wait, person?" He shrugs his shoulder and smiles.

"Mia said that you are very secretive about your private life and that you VP Ros something or other is… well a lesbian. You have been able to resist me so far and honesty that never happens…So…" Holy FUCK, he thinks I am gay! This rumor started years ago with Adina and has followed me around. Not that I really care, but still.

"I am not a lesbian and if I was it would not be a secret. And you are not that hard to resist."

"Ahhh I see… so who is this man you are in love with?"

"None of your damn business."

"Wait, so if you were gay that would not be a secret but the man you are in love with is. Wait is it that Spanish boy from the bar, the one with the redhead?"

"No. He is like a brother."

"Ahhh so unrequited love then."

"Shut up , no it is not José! "

"I think it is… I think you L-O-V-E him…"

"You are such an asshole you know that don't you!"

"Baby, you have no idea."

* * *

I hate him, that is it. I mean here I am trying to be a friend, and all he does is tease me for an hour. Stupid jerk. I can hear the buzz of the saw as I get in the tub to get ready for my date with Taylor. I have a few hours but I want to take time and get extra pretty. It feels strange being naked with Christian directly below me. I can feel the vibrations under me and the usually still water quake. I sink in deeper and rest my head against the egg shaped tub gazing up on to the blue sky above me. I wanted the skylight and my father would only allow it if we used bullet proof glass.

My mind drifts and all I can think about is him sliding into the tub with me, watching him as he immerses into the hot water, the feel of his legs brushing against mine. I can see the look on his face, a sly smile and I feel this twitch at my core. I glide my hands up and down the length of my body and imagine they are his, the vibrations beneath me only adding to the effect. My nipples pucker and I moan as I pinch them. I want so badly to lower my hands and touch the places that only Taylor knows. But the guilt of thinking about Christian is overwhelming. Loyalty and Trust, that is all I have and that is what I have to hold on to.

The rest of my bath is uneventful as I fight to keep thoughts of Christian to the back burners of my mind. The sound of the saw stops, and honestly that helped quite a bit. It is almost four and he said he was leaving around then. I can almost feel when he is gone. It is the oddest feeling but I know he has left my apartment. I breathe differently when he is not around, my heart beats at a different pace.

I took my time getting ready. Taking great care with my hair and makeup. I chose this black dress that I know he loves and strappy black heels. I put on this delicate white and black ribbon thong and bra. I know we have been together for months but this is actually out first date. I got back to the apartment a little late and I sat in the kitchen waiting for him. I have been careless with him lately, letting these confused feeling for Christian cloud my heart but I realize what I have in Taylor and that is the most important thing. He is my heart. He is my everything. I remember the night when it all changed. When I begged him to see me as the Ana I was now, not the girl he knew years before. I told him that what I felt for him was real, and that there have been many security guards over the years. All good looking, all young but that he was the only one that made my heart beat faster, he was the one who could make me laugh. I explained that it wasn't a crush, that I had crushes over the years and what I felt for him was different. He was different. All I wanted was a chance. I wanted him to look at me and see ME, Ana who was and what I had become. And he did. He saw me, the first person who ever really did.

I hear his longs strides come up behind me and my heart smiles because despite my unfaithful mind I have missed him greatly. He wraps his arms around my shoulder kissing my neck.

"Darlin' I'm sorry for being late. Soph was upset. She and the ex are not getting along."

"How is she?"

"She's sixteen… that's how she is… If she wasn't my kid I would shoot her." He chuckles and kissed me gently. "Are you ready to go, I made a reservation?" I stand up and he gets a full view of me, a smile spreads across his face. "Damn baby… could you do a little twirl for me?"

I blush but I do as he asks and smile when I hear a long whistle and his tried and true darlin'. He takes my hand in his and leads me to the elevators and the butterflies begin their flight. I want him to kiss me so badly, but I know that he won't. Instead he looks straight until the doors open and he gives me a sideways glance before doing his usual garage security check. For a quick second I forgot that I needed security and it was one of the best seconds of my life. He takes my had once again and instead of taking me to the limo we head towards his truck.

"Really?"

"Yeah, I figured the limo was a bit much…This way you can sit beside me and I can rub your thigh…"

"Perv…"

"You mean dirty old perv… don't cha." I chuckle and slide into the door he has opened for me. AS we drive through the streets of Seattle his hand does find his way to my thigh and my hand finds it way to his. Everything feels so normal, so easy. Why would I want to risk all of this for an asshole… the answer is I don't.

"He made some good progress on the shelves. I see."

"Oh, really. I didn't check yet…"

"You should it did some good work. Sawyer said he was busy all day with it. I don't like that the security cameras are covered with plastic but it makes sense."

"I told you, he is trying to get his life together."

"Yeah, yeah. I still don't trust him, not one bit."

"You don't trust anyone."

"Sugar, I trust you." He lifts my hand to his lips and kisses my knuckles and then my palm. All I feel is guilty and shame. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Nothing will ever change that." There is something wistful in his voice and I make a solemn vow to wipe my mind of all thoughts of Christian. I will be his friend and nothing more.

"So where are you taking me for our date?"

"You will just have to wait and see."

* * *

We drive for a while until we are in the middle of nowhere. The sun is setting as we pull off to a road made of dirt and rocks. There is a clearing and then a lake that is reflecting the early night sky.

"Stay here. I will be right back." Taylor grabs a few things from the back of the truck and I watch as he builds us a fire and then sets up a small table and folding chairs. I am giddy with excitement as he sets out plates and wine, candles and food. He even brought his IPod and I can hear the overture for Tristan and Isolde begins to play.

He opens the door with a huge smile on his face and I can hear the night that surrounds us.

"Who knew a Jarhead from Texas could be so romantic."

"Darling, you have no idea how romantic this night is going to get.

* * *

My hands on clutching the seven hundred thread count sheets on my bed. I can feel the sweat drip off my body as my body quakes over and over again. I am sprawled out my legs stretched wide, as Taylor's mouth and tongue ravage me, his long deft fingers weave their way in and out of me and he has no intention of slowing down. My body is stiff, my toes curled and at some point I lost touch with reality. I can't even believe the sounds that are coming out of my mouth, a mix of moans and his name over and over. Taylor is changing the whole game tonight. Everything feels different.

I grip my nails into his shoulders and he looks up at me, but his mouth keeps going.

"Please… I can't…" I can feel the vibration of his chuckle against my sex and that is just enough to push me over the edge as I come again.

"You could and you did." He lies beside me and slides his arm under my neck, wrapping his arm around my shoulder pulling me close to him. I snuggle against his chest and kiss the edge of his pec, biting the skin. He growls just a bit, so I do it again only this time closer to his nipple. I reach down and grab his cock and gently begin to stroke it at the base, ignoring the head all together.

"Fuck Ana." I pump him slowly but with a firm pressure until the tip of his cock is a deep dark red. I work my way down his body with nips and kisses and position myself kneeled between his opens legs. I run my fingers through the soft sandy hair on his upper thighs, in small circles. I watch as the veins pop out of his lover abdomen all leading to his tight throbbing cock and I know he needs a release. I touch him with only my mouth, my hands still on his thighs. I coat his tip with the slickness of my tongue and his body jerks at the sensation. I let a pool of sip collect there and then finally drag my hand over him from tip to base. I pump him over and over switching hands back and forth until I feel the dry friction between us. I take in fully in my mouth until I can feel him in the back of my throat; I hum just a little bit and begin to suck dragging my teeth along his shaft. His hands pull at my hair guiding me over him. I grab his balls and give them a sharp tug and I can feel his pre-jack on the back of my tongue. Fueled by this I suck harder and faster, I can feel my spit dripping down my chin and a new wetness begins at my sore core. He comes hard in my mouth and I struggle to swallow the first rope of his orgasm. But I do just in time to conquer the next three. My neck and jaw are aching but the look of supreme satisfaction on his face is like human morphine and I feel no pain, only love.


End file.
